Thursday, April 18, 2024

FAMILY FUSION: Let your light shine (4)


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“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organisation developed it. Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God.” Max Lucado

The silence of the magnificence of Christian marriages is deafening while the vociferous voice of the few who have alternative perceptions of God-designed marriages is ear-piercing. It is time for Christian spouses to break the silence and allow the light of their expressions and actions of love and marriage to reverberate far and wide.

One commentator once said: “There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.” At the heart of that statement is the very cornerstone for a marvellous marriage and wholesome home environment. Since the marriage “product” that the Christian possesses is an excellent one, there should be no fear or shame in yelling to both friends and foes that marriage is worth the long-time investment.

To repeat what I said in a previous article, when I make reference to a Christian individual, I am not talking about a churchgoer since a person who frequents church is not necessarily a Christian. When I say Christian, I am making reference to an individual who places firm faith and confidence in Jesus Christ, seeking to conduct himself/herself consistently in accordance to godly principles on a daily basis.

In recent times, the redefinition of marriage has been up for great debate. The Christian must never yield to popular culture or persistent pressure from persuasive groups to compromise the biblical position on marriage as God has designed it. The Christian must come out full blast both in lifestyle and expression to let the world know that there is only one Christian position.

The principle of the man and woman leaving mother and father and cleaving to each other with the two becoming one must continue to be prominent for the Christian. This model must be echoed from everywhere the Christian goes. The passivity about the blessings and beauty of divine marriage must come to a halt. To all married persons who carry the Christian flag, your light must be shining superbly in a world where darkness has caused many eyes to be closed to the light of God’s model for the family.

Verbally fighting, devaluing or developing hatred toward individuals who share a different position on marriage is not the attitude that the Christian should adopt. But consistently and practically living out the divine model is the foremost radiant flame that should perpetually burn from our lives. Like any light, this will be noticed and attract individuals to God’s way of thinking. Therefore, shining our marriage light luminously in our homes and in the public domain is very important.

Beaming forth our Christian marriage light within our homes should be the No. 1 priority. The Christian spouse must first shine as minister of “home affairs” before desiring to shine as minister of “external affairs”. Therefore, living godly lives before our spouses must be the No. 1 priority.

Having an eye single to our spouse, communicating meaningfully, respecting lovingly, connecting intimately, promoting joyfully, encouraging regularly, celebrating exuberantly, admiring sincerely, exhibiting genuinely, and planning purposefully are just a few of the many elements we as Christians should add to the flames of our marriage to make them glow.

I really enjoy my married life. It is not perfect, but it is productive. Sometimes our marriage flames burn low. When recognising the cooling off, my wife and I would come together and stoke the fires by using some of the aforementioned components in order to rekindle the flames again. As Christian spouses we need to be godly models, so that our children can see our good works and desire to follow suit. When issues arise that threaten to douse the fire of your marriage, confront them, work toward resolving them, learn from the experience and march ahead together.

Never give up on your Christian marriage; it has every ingredient to make your family and society a radiant place to enjoy. When in the public domain, as a Christian spouse, count it a great delight to let everybody know by your expression and actions that you are married and have a great love for the gift (your spouse) with which God has blessed you.

The workplace is one of those public environments where the Christian spouse should allow the marriage light to shine brightly. Interfacing with individuals who have scant respect for marriage and may demonstrate this both subtly and blatantly in an attempt to cause problems in marriages seems to be a growing fad within some workplaces today.

Years ago a young Christian married man told me that he ended up resigning from his workplace because his female boss was constantly pressuring him to be intimate with her. He said he was not prepared to compromise the light of his marriage for sexual pleasure. I admired the discipline and dedication of that Christian young man.

I also recall a young Christian married woman whose male married employer called her to his office one day and told her to shut the door behind her, which she did, thinking he was going to discuss work-related business. He proceeded to sexually harass her. She said she quickly took a firm stance by angrily and assertively telling him off and then furiously marching out of his office. Although losing her substantive job was a possibility, she indicated that she was not going to misrepresent her God, nor smother her marriage light. She got my thumbs up.

Beyond the workplaces are institutions of learning, clubs, church and para-church organisations, social gatherings, sporting arenas, eating places, business and other travels, all of which are potential opportunities to take pleasure in promoting your Christian marriages.

As Christian spouses, we must do everything to send a clear message to a society which has lost its moral compass. God’s way of marriage is the only way to build a cohesive and stable society. Let your Christian marriage light shine brightly every day.

Reverend Haynesley Griffith is a marriage and family life consultant. Email


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