Heavy doses of love

THERE ARE some moments growing up that seem to become enmeshed in a person’s memory. For Kwame Connell such moments are the talks, and philosophical discussions he had with his father. Kwame enjoyed a close relationship with his father through the years. Despite his father being a lawyer, he encouraged his son to pursue a career in medicine, which he did and is now a gastroenterologist.But as we were talking and he was taking that mental stroll down memory lane, it was Kwame who recalled asking his dad, “What is the purpose of life? And “Why are we here?”His father never gave him a response to that question. “I do remember having an epiphany when my first child was born . . . that question was answered for me” he said. “I don’t really have those questions anymore. It’s really about taking the species forward and advancing generations.”Kwame, a married father of three, has a blueprint for his own nuclear family life to serve as a model for the life he wanted to create.“I definitely wanted to be a father. I came from a relatively small nuclear family, just my sister and my myself. My dad was from a larger family – he is one of four kids and my mum was one of 13. I was always very family-oriented, but your career, in terms of getting a quality education, delays that a bit.”Juggling a career and family hasn’t been easy, but he tries to provide a good balance for his children. What’s important for him during his kids’ early years is instilling those core values that will carry them through life.“I want them to feel that there’s nothing they can’t achieve, providing they’re willing to put in the work and preparation that it takes. There are no shortcuts but they’re also no limits,” he said. “It’s also a little early for them in terms of recognising this part of being true to oneself. No one is going to be with you at every step of the way or 24 hours a day, but you have to have your own standards within you to make an honest effort and to give it your best effort.”Kwame credits the influence of his family for helping to frame his own family set-up.“It’s interesting because I spent a lot of time away from my family but the influence has been lasting,” he admits. “They were strong on education, honesty, principles, the idea of being able to look at yourself in the mirror every morning and know that you made an honest effort. My mum, well my dad too, but you cannot find a more selfless person than my mother because she put her entire life at the disposal of her family.”Growing up in a strong family unit and creating one for his own children, Kwame now fully understands the importance of a father in the life of his children.“I think we’ve underestimated the importance of fathers over the years, but to some degree men are to blame for that. Our experience in the United States is one where there’s a large number of single women raising families,” he said. “My ability to achieve what I’ve achieved is due in a large part to the fact that I came from a very stable household with both mother and father actively involved in the raising of these kids.”For him, he plans to carry on that tradition with his three children – Kwame Seikou, Zuri and Zene.“It’s really all about laying that foundation to give them the best opportunity to be what they can be,” he said. “They may not be what I want them to be, and you have to know that, because you have to equip them to be the best at what they want to do. “Hopefully you would have exposed them to enough things, and shaped their philosophy in life in terms of their work ethic and character. That way you can be reasonably assured that they will choose a path that is beneficial to them and their subsequent families.”