Friday, April 12, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE – Stop acting single when you’re married


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A year-and-a-half of problems in his six-year marriage had Worried thinking his work schedule might be the cause. That is, until he discovered his wife’s closeness to her new male workmate he knows to be a player.His wife, normally reserved, had been taking rides and doing shopping with her colleague. She was even receiving visits from him while at her mother’s home.Worried’s wife, while insisting the guy was just a friend, figured her husband was trying to control her. Threatened with a divorce, she is refusing counseling saying her husband has the problem.Christine told him she sensed “a gathering closeness” which could only hurt his marriage.Several readers had this to say.• This is so familiar, when two people get married and one wishes to behave like he/she is still single. You find this happening with people who don’t see their marriage as a union. This behavior causes problems and when things get out of hand then it leads to breakup. It’s time people understand that when they get involved with someone other than their wife/husband the person they are involved with always think they will do the same if they are together.• There is a belief that a platonic friendship between a male and a female does not remain that way for very long, as they become closer and closer a bond develops. Two words come to mind in these cases, “opportunity” and “inclination.” I believe that you have every right to be concerned about your marriage and if your wife cannot appreciate that, then your marriage will be on a slippery slope. Some people would say that you should trust your wife, yes, but can you trust the other chap? People should not put themselves in the way of temptation. That would be asking for trouble, considering that most of us do have our “breaking” point. Just my take on the matter after being married to the same person for 45 years.• If she isn’t cheating already she is about to. You can bet on it. And then they will come and tell you sorry that they didn’t know what they were doing or thinking.• Why is this woman trying to insult her husband’s intelligence? A woman who refuses to stop seeing a man at her mom’s home, attend counselling, and tells her husband that “the problem is his, not hers”, is one, in my view, who no longer wants her husband.  What baffles me is why her mother would allow her to meet at her home with another man. This gives me the impression that this mother is a “slack” person herself. If this mother  had any respect for herself, her daughter, her son-in-law, and her community, she would not have encouraged this meeting to occur at her home. So, I really don’t blame this guy for wanting a divorce. • I would have to say I am afraid so too. Why would he be visiting her at her parents house when she is there?• It’s time to give this woman a choice, him or me and stick to your guns, any time a woman gets too tight with a new male friend, he’s trying or getting the honey, make her put up or shut up, trust me, you will love again if she walks away.


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