Dear Christine, I was in a similar position as that man who wrote you in the DAILY NATION of July 6.In your reply, you said you hoped that our stories would help others who find themselves in a similar plight.My story is that I am still married to a woman of a different nationality but she is a gold-digger. She took me for all I had and was still trying to do so up until recently. When she felt that I had money again somehow I found myself in her clutches until she drained me of all my money. Yes we make vows for better or for worse, but I don’t think that God meant that I should allow someone to take advantage of me. In a relationship sometimes we have to draw a line and because you make vows that does not mean that you have to let the other half take advantage of you. On top of that, she does not feel comfortable with the work I do. As far as I know all jobs are important, I make an honest living.We have been separated for a while and I wanted nothing to do with this woman but somehow I found myself back with her and did not know how. My personality changed and I was really mean to other people who were close to me. Deep within, I knew something was wrong but as you said in your reply, some friends close to me really helped me and I was able to get out of her evil clutches.At first, I had decided I wanted nothing to do with other women, but I realise now I had made that decision because somehow, I had allowed her to intimidate me. I was allowing her to control my life in every way. Now that I have my life back, I refuse to live a lonely life. My mother, who is deceased, always told me to make sure I know about a woman before I decided to marry her and as I reflect, I realise that I never really knew this woman. You should never be so trusting because some people allow you to see what they want you to see. Her mother would pretend to benice to me and would agree that her daughter was disgusting, but eventually, I realised she was still encouraging me in a relationship that was in no way healthy. My friends made me see this because after most of the evil things that her daughter did to me it suddenly hit me, that she would have been taught some of those things by her mother.That man said he ate curry, I don’t know what was done to me but I know now that there is evil in the world and that is why we have to read that Holy book – the Bible. No one is more powerful than God. To persons who do wrong to others, remember your sins always have a way of catching up with you. To my friends that I have hurt, I say sorry. And to those who helped me I say thanks.
– G. It sounds as though you’ve learnt a valuable lesson the painful way. The good thing is that you now appreciate people a lot more and have a greater regard for friends. One of the side-effects of any break-up is that it makes you cynical about getting into any other relationship and, as you said, your life is still being controlled by the former relationship. However, in your case you have managed to break free of that bondage and should not find yourself back in your former partner’s clutches.Your next relationship I believe will be better because you will look deeper and get to know the other party before becoming attached. In addition, your time with God and studying the Bible should prepare you for that next step.Finally, I share your conviction that those who ill-treat others eventually reap the tainted fruits of what they have sown. Keep the faith.– Christine
