POLITICIANS generally speak a language of their own, particularly when they start to talk about high financial matters. I, like you, does pretend I know what they talking ’bout but truth be told I haven’t a clue as to what is “negative” growth, does it mean you are growing in the wrong direction, what?Tell me truthfully, how many of wunnah really understand the “common external tariff”, GDP and the best one of all is the “Caribbean Single Market And Economy”. While every man brekking fuh he self we does talk ’bout single market and economy and not even the host country is yet a member of the Caribbean Court of Justice! But this past fortnight I was made aware of a couple of new terms in the vocabulary of Caribbean politicians. I am reliably informed that on a certain talk show we were educated about the “PHYSICAL deficit” as opposed to the FISCAL deficit and the “UNBIBLICAL cord” instead of the UMBILICAL cord. People laughing but not me, I want to know more. So I went back to school and my english teacher told me “Vendor, I want you to make several sentences, using the phrases Physical deficit and unbiblical cord,” so here goes.When I look at a fella like lil Bizzy he real boney, he tall but he real skinny, I suppose you could say he has a physical deficit. Other examples, I look in my fridge this morning and I couldn’t find a thing to eat, I had a physical deficit. Mia, Cynthia, William, Market Vendor and Richard do not have physical deficits. When I eat at certain high end restaurants the portion of the food got a physical deficit. Now to the other term; certain people in public life are very wufless, I am sure they have an unbiblical cord!I suspect that Mavado and Vybz Cartel got unbiblical cords, given the nasty songs that them does sing sometimes. Many of the anchor people on Fox news network do not have umbilical cords, they are so full of hate that I am sure they have unbiblical cords. President Obama on the other hand clearly has an umbilical cord. What kind of cord do you think a fella like President George Bush has?Some years ago a grassroots member of Parliament had a mass meeting in his constituency, attended by the party heavyweights including the PM Tom Adams. He used the opportunity to share with the audience and the PM some local issues of concern. Apparently the Government had a pilot project with water buffalo from Trinidad one or two of which had gotten away and caused havoc with small farmers’ plots. The candidate in his address referred to a “flock of Buffalo” causing damage to small farmers crops. After he repeated it a few times a party elder was heard shouting to him “Braff Braff,” A HERD, A HERD”. Looking back a few times the folksy politician continued to wax warm about this FLOCK of Buffalo and again the elder shouted “a HERD a HERD”. Clearly not getting the point, the candidate turned and shouted out “man I ain’t HEARD nothing, I saw it with me own two eyes, a whole FLOCK of Buffalo”. The place brek down wid laughter for at least five minutes. And then there was a politician from rural Trinidad who told the audience: “I gave your mother wood, I gave your aunt wood, I gave your sista wood.” Apparently he owned a lumber yard! But the best must still be the Bas (Basdeo Panday), years ago at the height of his powers he rose to the podium at UNC headquarters and shouted “my people”. A man shouted back “Basdeo” to which the Bas returned “my brother” and the man shouted “yuh dog”. Without missing a beat the Bas retorted: “That is why I called you my brother!”I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear!
