IT IS bemusing that in these times anyone would find it surprising that locals could be responsible for the recent tragic events at Tudor Street. We have had fairly heinous and brutal crimes being committed both within domestic situations and otherwise.
Over the last year we have had men chopping women brutally, and young men being shot down in cold blood. This coupled with what many seem to perceive as a general diminishing regard for the well-being and rights of others would indicate that this is not your grandmother’s Barbados, and that like it or not situations of this magnitude will arise – possibly with increasing frequency.
Help the police
A young man’s point that in a country like Barbados, where everyone knows what is going on, we all have to realise that if we are to feel safe in our country and to nip this situation in the bud, we cannot ask the police to do it on their own, but help them whenever we can.
The understandably emotional response to the same tragedy has given rise to calls for the introduction and enforcement of rules for building structures to make them safer and for better lighting in Tudor Street and the like. This is all well and good, and ideally the silver lining in this very dark cloud would be that we see some substantial improvements in this regard.
Business as usual
However, the cynic in this writer suggests that after emotions have cooled and with the passage of time, it will be business as usual. Something tragic happens, there are strident calls for change, and then everything goes back to normal for the next “untimely death” to occur to start the whole process all over again.
Condolences go out to the families who lost loved ones in the incident. The same also go to the family of the Red Cross volunteer who was found dead shortly thereafter. In the wake of his death and perhaps without knowing the details of it, some persons, as is the norm in such circumstances, were quick to get judgmental and suggest that one should not end one’s life because it is a sin (as if that ever stops anyone who is determined to do anything) and that he should have thought of his children and so on.
I would humbly suggest and without condoning any such action in any way, that one needs to keep an open mind in such cases. As some people have pointed out, right or wrong, everyone handles situations in a of variety of ways. In addition, the coinciding of events does not necessarily mean that one was the catalyst for the other.
Survival instinct
I believe it does not take a mental health professional to realise that since it is inherent in man’s nature to survive, that when one makes the decision to take his or her life and goes through with it, they probably were at the end of the rope and probably felt they could not be helped because their problem was so huge, or, that they had no one to help them cope.
Not all of our problems are straight forward (for example ending of relationships, financial difficulties and so on) and oftentimes many persons need serious help, but because of pride or ego refuse to seek it, (men especially because of acculturation, tend not want to appear weak or pathetic, as “not handling their business”).
Support systems
Furthermore, they may not have the support system of friendships or familial relationships that many of us might take for granted and get us through tough times, or they may believe that they do not and may be crying out for help, and friends or family may not recognise that is the case. It does not help that we can be very judgemental and unsympathetic.
This is what fuels various types of stigma, including those against persons with mental disorders, or who are at risk for certain illnesses and so on, and this discourages many from seeking the help or care they should be trying to access. Many people kill themselves everyday trying to cope with their problems, albeit at a much slower rate, through drinking, overeating, unprotected sex, drug abuse, overworking and the like.
