Dear Christine,
I AM the mother of children. There is a problem that I am facing daily with one: her father would not play the role he is supposed to.
This is what I mean. Our daughter entered secondary school a year ago, and all he gave her were socks. September gone, nothing again.
I put him in Court for maintenance since December, but up to this day nothing.
There were two other hearings after that. The marshals said they can’t find him.
I called and gave information again as to where he could be found, but was asked some strange questions by a marshal, and the person started laughing all the time.
I want to know why these men are so hard to find? Have they gone to Brazil?
My daughter is lacking things and needs her father’s help. And the people who should help us need to stop joking around. – Struggling Mother
Dear Struggling Mother,
Like you, I cannot understand how in a country 21 miles long by 14 miles wide, and where the addresses of the individuals being sought have been passed on to court marshals, why they are unable to find them.
This continues to be a blight on our court system and one that needs to be urgently dealt with.
It is simply unfair to women to have to beg for time from work to go to court for a hearing that does not come off because marshals say they cannot find the man to serve him a summons to come to court. Yet the women can get in a bus and go by where he works or lives, and find him.
There are too many stories about this, and it has been going on too long. Its continuation undermines the integrity of the justice system.
If people stop believing in the concept of fairness and justice before the law, all that would be left is anarchy.
And I’m not being dramatic here, because this integral process to the justice system seems to be widespread.
Just two weeks ago Magistrate Christopher Birch adjourned the District A Magistrates’ Court less than an hour after it started on a major “call day” when it was discovered that only five out of 105 summonses were served.
The magistrate said the seeming inability by marshals to find people was “unacceptable by any standard” and wondered what was going on within that department.
So, clearly there is a problem there that needs to be fixed immediately and I hope for the sake of women seeking maintenance this is done with haste.
That said, I want to address another issue raised in your letter and that is the role men are supposed to play in their children’s lives. Like you, I believe men should support their children financially, but their input should not stop there.
Fathers should be involved in the nurturing and education process as well. Every effort should be made to facilitate the building of a bond between children and their father.
I do recognise that some men drop their seed and move on, preferring not to look back. But I’m speaking of the ones who do want to play a role in their child’s life, they should be allowed to do so as much as possible.
I would encourage you and other mothers to see the wisdom in this for their children’s sake, and not spite the father for whatever reason by not letting him see the child. – Christine