POOR SANTA CLAUS! A lady wrote to a famous local adviser/comforter asking her to advertise her simple request. She was obviously lonely and having reached the ripe age of 50, she wanted a man. Not any man, a man between the ages of 55 and 60 years. She was very specific.
This man had to be a non-smoker, presumably because she could not tolerate the smell of nicotine or possibly because smokers die at about 65 years of age from cancer of the lungs. He had to be a non-drinker, not a person who frequents rum shops and stays out late at night, carousing with noxious friends. He had to be kind-hearted, that is to say, prepared to give and not to count the cost, to her and to those in need (the Salvation Army).
Additionally, he had to be honest. While it was not specified, it meant that he would not be horning her with other women, or if he had a habit of horning, he should be accompanying that habit with ready true confessions. Presumably, she is the forgiving type.
He should have a sense of humour, not some stuck-up prude, and able to laugh and make jokes.
The requirement meant that if girlfriends of hers came around, he should be able to appreciate their jokes. (See girlfriends later on).
The 55-year-old non-smoker, non-drinker, non-horner must be able to communicate (at what level and with what decent or indecent efficiency, and with what provocation?). In other words, he must be able to listen and advance an argument when necessary. Again, should the communication be of a public ability or only private? She confesses that she is a fun-loving person.
One does not know how far she would carry her fun and if the fun would begin after the expected nuptials or if a trial period would be allocated for fun.
He must not be a “sponger”, must be hard working. Blue collar or white collar not stated.
One serious requirement is that he should believe in God. The fact that this is a first requirement means a serious church-going man. How many times a week or month is not stated but going to church may limit any possible trial fun period or probably eliminate it. Nothing has been said about buying a pig in a poke.
He must be single. No mention of if he is a divorcee, but that may be OK. To expect a 55-year-old man to have lived a virgin, heterosexual, righteous life without previous wife or children seems like wishing for the Moon (or Mars). In any case, one would think that such a man would not be worth having. Hence divorced men with or without children seem to be welcome.
The advertisement has a complication. Female friends are welcome! Coming at the same time as a request for men, female friends being welcome sounds suspicious and does not seem to fit into the equation. Why are female friends required? Can it be that the person is desperate for friendship, male or female? If the person is 50 years old, what kind of friends has she been accumulating over the years? In the case of female friends, they will learn, if they are serious, something about this lady after they contact her. Suspicion is around the corner.
In addition to fun-loving, it is presumed that this lady is really honest, God-fearing, kind-hearted and has a sense of humour; is a non-smoker and does not fire one when having fun.
The task of finding a suitable 55-year-old man is seriously complicated by reality. Where to look? In Barbados? Is this going to be a “mènage à trois”?