WHEN IT COMES to intimate relationships, there is no room for Santa or Mrs Claus – especially if they’re sharing generosity with someone intimately attracted to them.
In fact, men and women who shower the opposite sex with gifts though they know these people have feelings for them, disrespect their partners and undermine their existing relationships. This, essentially, represented the views of those who answered our last question, which was “Christmas is the time for sharing and giving, but what would you do if you found out your partner had purchased a gift this year for someone whom you always suspected they were attracted to?”
One woman said: “I had a boyfriend who did this with his so-called friend. . . . It took me six years to discover that he was sleeping with her. He eventually left me for her when she got pregnant for him.”
Another said: “This is what men do. It’s their way of letting a woman know that though he is in a committed relationship that he is still very interested in her.” One male caller opined that women loved to do things like this to keep men “off balance”, but usually kick up a fuss when men didsimilar things. A man who identified himself as a Christian said that gift-giving at Christmas should be about “sharing good tidings of great joy” rather than seeking to facilitate the possibility of infidelity.
“It is wrong when men and women try to buy people’s love through gifts . . . .The message about Christmas and Jesus Christ’s life here on earth is about sacrifice and commitment to a moral ideal . . . . The emphasis on gifts to show how much you care about someone is therefore wrong and the ugly aspect of what Christmas has become.”
Looking at this question from a purely secular view, I take the position that you should never do anything that you would not want your partner to do. And since the average man would not want his lady to buy aa gift for her man she knows is interested in her a gift, then he should not do it.Life, as far as I am concerned, is about being honest and doing what is right. And if you want to have a solid relationship, free of suspicion, you have got to do the right things to promote such trust.
The following are edited versions of responses:
• “This is a time for giving and sharing, I know, but in order for me to start the New Year with a man who is honest and definitely not a cheater, I would need to get to the bottom of this issue to quench any suspicion clouding my mind. “Therefore, I would have a woman-to-woman chat with the lady, and if my suspicions are confirmed, I would dump the lying cheating SOB before the start of the New Year.”
•“[In a situation like this] my resolution for the New Year will be out with the old and await a new.
•Top of Form” Dump them, they aren’t worth the hassle if you can’t trust them.”
• “I would ask them if they are involved with that person.”
•“This would be an opportunity to let them know that you think they should follow their heart.”
•“Having an attraction to a person doesn’t mean that they are involved. If there was an involvement then all hell would break loose. But if it is just an attraction, I wouldn’t worry none. Hey, maybe that would inspire me to give to someone that I’m attracted to too.”
•“I would speak to both of them separately, and when I get the truth I would dump the lying cheater before the New Year.”
