Dear Christine,
My mother does not like my present boyfriend because he does not work and has no degree.
She says that I should go out with somebody who is ambitious and can do something for me.
This is the second guy that she has dismissed in this way. The first was working but had no degree either. She feels I should like someone who has a degree or is studying for one, as I am.
What hurts about her attitude is that I bring these guys home to meet her because I think that is the right thing to do and yet she just dismisses my choices.
I know she wants the best for me, but I am getting fed up with her attitude. How do you think I should handle this?
– Jennifer
Dear Jennifer,
I think you should listen to your mum. As you said, she has your best interest at heart. She may not be telling you what you want to hear, but she is trying to save you a lot of heartache.
No parent who truly loves their daughter would want her to go out with a man who seems to have no real prospects. After all, she wants you to be better off than she was and feels the only way you can achieve that is by getting a sound education and having a partner who is similarly educated.
Don’t get me wrong, both of your young men may be nice people, but in this highly competitive world they have to work at developing themselves from early.
I commend you for taking those young men to meet your mother. You should continue to do that because she should know who your friends are. This would also help build trust between the two of you.
My dear Jennifer, I would advise you to chat with your mum about this and try to understand why she has taken the position she has. But please remember that she is looking out for you.
– Christine