ACCORDING?TO?INFORMATION received last week, my daughter Kathyann is about to become a very wealthy woman.
In fact, all she has to do is respond to an “official legal notice” and she will be on her way to inheriting a massive BDS$31 million.
Yes, as you might have already guessed, the information about her unexpected fortune did come packaged in one of those emails people receive daily from international tricksters who prey on unsuspecting computer users and often milk their victims of thousands of dollars.
I have written a few times about similar emails and even promised that I would never mention any again. Even when one landed purporting to be from Nelson Mandela’s former wife Winnie, I just stupsed and sent it on its way to the recycle bin on my desktop.
But I couldn’t do likewise with the email Kathyann forwarded for me to read. The reason was that the norm is for them all to tell the story of some unknown member of African royalty, head of state, businessman or other bigwig dying suddenly, being killed in a coup or some other scenario and leaving millions hidden away in a bank vault.
So to prevent the state or unscrupulous persons from claiming it for themselves, a relative, lawyer, banker or whatever seeks your assistance to have the millions transferred to your personal account, after which you will receive a hefty share of the booty.
The reason I decided to share the contents of the email to Kathyann is that this one is pure genius in that it was sent as an official legal notice of an unclaimed fund left not by some person with an unfamiliar name but by a relative.
Oh yeah – it didn’t disclose if he was an uncle, cousin or outside brother but it was to do with the estate of a Mr J.K. Gilkes who died along with his entire family in a December 2007 car accident.
It also did not reveal if the J was for John, James, Jacob, Jeremiah or Josephus, or identify in which country the poor man was wiped off the face of the earth with his entire family.
What the email did state was that it came from a Paul Martin, our deceased unknown relative’s “former official and personal attorney and the witness of fact” (whatever that is) of the matter and he was hereby soliciting Kathyann’s “immediate response and positive committed efforts” to facilitate the remittance of funds totalling US$15.5 million left by Mr Gilkes.
Wuh-lay, wuh-loss. Money fuh days and extra days. Money to gargle champagne in the morning, to buy villa from Cow, run aground on yacht like Bizzy, fly the world on private jet like Kyffin, shop at Harrods with sheiks, go horse racing at Epson with the Queen, and even depart earth on the next space shuttle with the astronauts.
Mr Martin added that the fund was left behind in a financial institution (no name given) by his late client. Now it’s left to Kathyann to get in touch with him by return email so he can guide her on her way from rags to riches.
• Al Gilkes is head of a public relations firm.
