Sunday, March 3, 2024

DE MARKET VENDOR: Lashley, I ain’t hear you right!


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DID I HEAR Minister Michael Lashley right? I want to be sure that I heard him say that in some instances people who get the land they own seize by Government, as in compulsory acquisition, have to wait 20 years or more fuh the payment? Twenty years? Da is a sentence? Wunnah does pay eight per cent interest in the meantime? That cannot be right, that could lead to all sorts of aggravation.
I sorry fuh Al Barrack. Iffing he got to wait so long, he shoulda tek the instalments that he did get offer ’cause in 20 years he and I could be the late and then yuh relatives and friends would be eating at fine dining places like Champers. You eat bakes and salt fish and them dining by Cheryl Newman! 
And the Honourable Donville say or imply (I ain’t tekking no chances) that the Civil Service is not ready to deliver the type of services needed to put Bubbadus pun de stage and he further say that becausing you tek a long time to mek a decision don’t mean that you mek a better decision. 
I would have to agree wid he. And we all see the report that say that the people in some Government departments are not nice though I Market Vendor know some very helpful people who does wuk fuh Government. The problem is that them get outnumba by occupiers, so wha you gwine do? I hear a man tell another fella that that fella was very experienced as he had 25 years’ experience, but the fella say, “25 years’ experience! Not really. I got one year’s experience repeated 25 times.”
And big bassa bassa last two weeks ’bout Rihanna and she latest video, S&M. People waxing warm ’bout public morals and what kind of role model she is fuh the young people. Them mekking sport, right? We got big men walking ’bout the place wid they underwear down by they knees, pissing in public in front of schoolchildren and passers-by on the road, cussing stink wid every other word a ras this or that or a mudda something or other, we got women in they panties and bras selling something by the Garrison at night that does got bare men and women buying, we got drugs all over this li’l place, we does wuk up real stink pun Kadooment – check the TV coverage – we horning and fornicating and adultering, but we want to crucify the biggest music superstar in the world today who come from ’bout here? 
We right in we head? We got clubs all ’bout this place that offering escorts, hot sex and rub downs and rub ups available 24/7 – I not even sure what does constitute a massage anymore – and we righteous and indignant ’bout Rihanna?
And lastly,I did sitting next to the Honourable Freundel Stuart, the PM, at Auntie Olga funeral service and de man could sing. He got real notes – summuch so that I Vendor stop singing after a while and listen to he. I had to ask meself iffing I could mek it in he choir!
And as I look round I could see Owen there pun the left, Mia there pun de right, Chris pun the left, nuff big politicians all there paying respects and I started to smile as I said, “Lord, I know if you come now I am in good company and I fancy my chances of mekking it through the big gates.”
I Market Vendor gone fun now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?


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