Dear Christine,I’m writing this letter because I have nowhere to turn and I’m hoping that you can help me.
I’m a mother of two and in my 20s. I do not make much money but I manage to pay the bills and put food on the table.
But the reason I’m writing this is because I need somewhere to stay. My mother put me out and I was living with my boyfriend who, by the way, beats me in front of my daughters.
Christine, a few nights ago I went out and when I got back home he was choking me and pulling down my pants saying let me see where you went. I have spoken to my constituency representative but to date I have not received any help.
My fear is that I may be killed at his hands, so please, I am begging you for help.
– Nowhere To Turn
Dear Nowhere To Turn,
What you are going through is very unfortunate, especially for someone your age. It seems to me though that there is more to your story than you are saying.
I say this because for a mother to put her daughter and grandchildren out of her house is a drastic move. Such action is not usually taken lightly, particularly when the mum knows that her child and grand kids may be disadvantaged.
Of course, such action is sometimes taken in a fit of anger, but even then there are usually underlying difficulties in that relationship that causes this to happen.
We are unlikely to ever know the answer to this, but what we do know is that you are at the mercies of your boyfriend, and so are your daughters.
What scares me most about your situation is that because he is aware that you have burned your bridges with your mother and therefore have no where else to turn, he may think he can treat you in any manner he wants to and you would have to stand for it.
Based on what you have said, it seems he is already doing so. That is wrong.
When a man is involved with a woman and treats her in this manner, he does not love and care for her. He is just using that woman to satisfy his needs, whether they be sexual or simply to feed his ego.
Your boyfriend is obviously on such a trip and is clearly abusing you.
Your plea to be saved from his fast hands before the situation worsens speaks volumes of the conditions you live under.
Let me assure you that we will try to get some measure of assistance for you, but please write us back and let us know how much in rent you can afford to pay, which parish you would prefer to live in given your need to get to work and the location of your daughters’ school(s).
Nowhere To Turn, I urge you to protect yourself against another pregnancy as that would be a major mistake at this time. Don’t believe this man that things will get better between you if you have a child for him. They won’t because he does not respect you.
I also strongly suggest that you go back to your mother and try to speak with her. You two need to patch up your differences even though it may be a humbling experience.
The reality is, if you cannot get along with your mother, chances are you will find it difficult to comfortably cohabit with anyone else. So I urge you to try to make peace with her and get out of that hell hole in which you now live before you are seriously hurt.
