Dear Christine, please help me identify who my friends really are.
I don’t own a car but people I call friends, both of whom are from my church, have cars. However, they never seem to do favours, although I have always paid my way.
Some people think I should forget about them and take a taxi, which I do sometimes.
Only today my friend said he couldn’t drop me as he had to go to Bushy Park, St Philip.
So a trip that would have taken me less than three-quarters of an hour took me nearly two hours by bus and ZR.
However, I got there and back.
The song says, “that’s what friends are for”, but I wonder if it is to mess you up.
I call them my friends; others say “no way”.
What do you say?
– VL
Dear VL,
There are expectations in every relationship, so it is natural to think that if you have good friends and they have cars that they would give you a lift.
This is particularly so in cases of emergency or when you need to do something urgently.
That said, it is unreasonable to expect that each time you are going someplace, one of your friends should drop you, even if you give them money for the ride.
The only way you should reasonably expect this is if they agreed with you at some point to provide this service to you for friendship’s sake or because you are physically challenged. Or you helped them to get their cars with the understanding that when you need to go somewhere, they would be there for you.
VL, if these two latter points do not apply in your case, you are expecting too much from your friends.
They cannot be there at your beck and call as they would have their own things to do.
Your first option should always be to take a bus or taxi whenever you have to go someplace. If your friends offer to take you instead, great. But they should never be your first resort.
– Christine
