WE WEST INDIANS usually hide we shame and anger in humour, and so today as I talk ’bout the cricket team I will try to laugh a li’l bit.
A friend tell me that the West Indies team love to listen to Down To Brass Tacks on www.929.com and recognizing that the programme starts at 10 a.m. they lost the match against Pakistan with enough time to tune in.
A WI fan never misses a ball, but this team missing theirs. What distinguishes us as fans is faith. A friend tell me, “Market, don’t believe it. That was not the WI cricket team. The match is yet to come. It is a conspiracy; in fact, that was a simulation – computer-generated and animated graphics. The team is not yet at the ground!”
Meanwhile, wild scenes of chutney music, dancing and celebration taking place in the East Indian-dominated community in Kensington New Road near the mecca, Kensington Oval, Bridgetown. De cup staying in Asia fuh sure!
What happens if you oversleep when WI playing cricket? You miss the whole innings. What happensif you wake up on time? The same thing.
A relative ask me: “What is the difference between our cricketers and an undertaker?”. The answer is: “The undertaker is the last person to let you down.” At a wake we does mourn the loss of a single relative, but with the WI cricket team you mourn a mass burial.
I hear there was a welcome party going to Grantley Adams Airport to welcome the team and was made up of members of the firing squad of the Defence Force. Meanwhile, it is rumoured that we have revoked the visas for certain categories of Guyanese workers and that we now ban cricketers but we welcome domestic workers.
A story is spreading on a blog that Trinidad and Tobago has declared all Trinis on the team persona non grata.
A scribe ask this vendor: “Why do West Indian batsmen wear boxes?” When I confessed I didn’t know, he said it was to protect their heads. People vex like hell at the spineless performance of the team that flattered to deceive against the little teams, but when face to face with the big boys the only runs we had was in the toilet.
I know we blue vex but, look, we still had a few things to feel reasonable about. We got into the quarter-finals and we did see some hope in the new boys. Roach bowled his heart out, Russell is good for the future and young Bishoo bowled magnificently. The problem is we don’t all click together.
So once again we have to cancel the celebration plans. No more motorcades, no fans begging fuh autographs, no girls wining pun dem, no more keys to the city, no more knighthoods. We gone from Clive Lloyd to Chris Gayle, from Vic Richards to Darren Sammy. Wuh loss!
Every time we think the patient recover and out of intensive care, before you look ’round, the ambulance bringing them back. There was a time when winning the ICC Cricket World Cup was the norm.
The expectation for the Windies today is to celebrate getting past the preliminaries; that is, celebrate beating Ireland, Holland and Canada! Gone are the glory days when we rushed to the airport in thousands, when we lined the streets sweating in the heat waiting to hail up the heroes. Gone is the pride that use to swell Caribbean chests.
I Market Vendor gone fuh now; you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
