Sometimes good things can come from bad events.
One such occurrence is the public apology issued by a 15-year-old schoolboy who, along with colleagues, bullied another pupil and made him clean shoes under threat of violence.
They videotaped their actions, and the video was placed on Facebook for the world to see.
The young man’s apology seems sincere, and we hope that he strives to conduct himself appropriately in future.
We would like to commend his mother, who is no doubt doing all she can to help him make something of himself. We were particularly impressed with her statement that she would not condone any bad behaviour on his part.
“I?understand the ramifications of what my child has done,” she said.
“People have been telling me not to let him [apologize], but the same way that they could post something so negative on Facebook, the same way he can come forward and do something positive and publicly apologize.
“He has to learn from this. It came to light for a reason. He has to use this as a stepping stone to clean up his act,” she added.
Clearly this mother recognizes that actions have consequences and is seeking to impress this on her son. Her success in this will make all the difference in how he respects the rights of others in future.
This is just one dimension to this incident. The fact is, the deed, the apology, and what happens next raise a number of issues that parents, guardians, teachers, education officials, child care administrators and the police need to be cognizant of.
For example, where are the police in all of this?
While we are not seeking to diminish this young man’s apology, the fact is that he participated in the public humiliation of another person. It was a deliberate, systematic act, which showed a total disregard for the victim.
Such behaviour, even if called bullying, may involve several breaches of the criminal law of this country and the police may have a duty to investigate this matter and take whatever action they think fit.
The involvement of the police would send a strong message to all bullies that what they do is wrong, and is contrary to the law and will not be tolerated.
At the same time, the police need to encourage those – like this apologetic young man – to continue to mend their ways, but realize that saying sorry does not get them off the hook for what they perpetrated.
Another issue raised in this matter is the impact bullying can have on those who were bullied as well. The repentant teenager said he knew how his victim felt because he was also bullied at school.
“I used to get beat up at the school and there was a time that I?did not even want to go to school because of what was happening to me. I?feel real bad. I was in his shoes, so I?know how he feels but at the time I was not thinking,” he stated.
Given the revelations about this apologetic teen’s anger and the behaviour generated, perhaps, by the group dynamics as seen in the video, it is clear that specialized intervention services are needed to assist youth like him.
And if such services do exist, they need to be boosted.
We recognize that this youngster was being counselled by members of his mother’s church, but while they may mean well, professional counselling and the intensity of the exercises contained in it are always best.
We wish this young man well for the future. It seems he has learnt his lesson. And we hope that whenever parents discover that their child was involved with bullying another, they would – like this courageous mother – seek to make him or her apologize as well.