It’s a hard decision that no man likes to be faced with, and it is one that sometimes doesn’t end happily. No man wants the challenge of having to choose between his wife/girlfriend and a new baby. Man To Woman sought to find out from a few men what they would do if they were in this situation: A man who is married or in a relationship for many years gets involved with someone else, and the outside relationship produces a baby. Not wanting it to be a situation where someone tells his wife/girlfriend, the man decides to tell her himself, but in response to the shocking news she tells him he has to make a choice – “It’s me or the baby!”
It was obvious from the answers received that men feel strongly about their children, and it’s one of the worst choices any woman can ask a man to make, since she will be on the losing side!
Fun Guy – Honestly, it would be hard but she would have to go. Even though I was wrong for impregnating the other woman, a girlfriend should never put the man in that situation to choose.
Man To Woman – I agree with you . . . . The baby is an innocent factor in this whole episode.
D President – This is a difficult one. It’s hard to walk away from a relationship that so much would have been invested in, but innocent kids that didn’t ask to come into this world shouldn’t be punished for the wrongdoings of adults. I couldn’t ever walk away from my own flesh and blood. Sorry, but for me, if I absolutely had to choose I would choose the baby.
Man to Woman – The decision is a very harsh one for any man to have to make, and a hard one for any woman to accept after the realization that the man has been cheating, but nevertheless the baby is innocent.
Sugar Plum – I have cheated before and ended up in a similar situation . . . . but the young lady was very fearful of my wife and had an abortion, which I didn’t agree with. The unborn child is innocent in all this, so don’t punish the child – punish me. A child is a gift, and any real woman knows that. Without trying to sound too don’t-carish, I could always find another wife – and there must have been some good reason why she was getting horns in the first place!
Man To Woman – I’m sorry that young lady chose to abort the baby. Whether it is that she was afraid of your wife or just wasn’t ready to have a baby is another situation though. However, I am happy to see that you recognize that you are the one to be punished and not the baby.
DW – The baby is innocent in the situation. If the wife doesn’t see it that way, she has to go.
Man To Woman – I totally agree.
Tall Man – This one is definitely tough! The obvious choice would be your wife. But you also have to factor in what stance the baby’s mother is taking. Is she willing to let you go without supporting the child or is she pushing for support. Personally, I would support my child and try to mend my relationship if it was truly just a mistake. Some women may be willing to forgive.
Man To Woman – Well, I would hope that all men would support their children regardless of if the mother asks them to. But, that said, there’s nothing wrong in trying to mend your relationship.
Mr Music – I would have to go with the baby as I have already made a personal decision that any child I create, mistake or otherwise, I will stand by. Perhaps she may only feel that way initially but she may change her mind afterwards. But I would definitely be there for the child regardless.
Man To Woman – It’s true that some women in the heat of the moment do make silly statements, but I believe those with good hearts will see that the baby is innocent. Bear in mind, though, that even if she takes you back, she will never trust you the same way.