Sunday, April 21, 2024

Using humour in de wors’ o’ times


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SO Jack call it a day, and he done wid CONCACAF and FIFA and in turn FIFA has discontinued all matters relating to the ethics committee and it is presumed that there was no wrongdoing.
Not even the new West Indies spin bowler Bishoo coulda spin such a beautiful piece of bowling! The spin doctors wuk all night to come up wid that one where FIFA remains a closed shop, probably corrupt to the core and de Latinos now have control of CONCACAF, which they will never relinquish!
Using the FIFA approach, I set out the following analogy for consideration. A man is accused of misappropriating large sums of money from a company. The company goes public with the allegations. The man vehemently denies, threatening to bring down El Jefe in the process.
The public call fuh an independent inquiry. Sudden so, the man resign the job, the investigation stopped and the man is now a good fellow and the company regrets that he has in fact left and say he legacy was a great one!
Caribbean people must be real dotish to swallow so much garbage! That is one fuh de books. Now FIFA leaking de goods to de media and Jack bawling foul. De opposition in T&T smell blood and calling fuh Jack head, screaming “Fire he!” But Kams bracing she man.
Anyhow, last week yuh boy had he inaugural REDJet flight. The experience was nice. Ah left pun time, the plane smell nice and de Bajan air hostesses mek yuh feel comfortable. De luggage arrive de same time as de Vendor and once Jamaica and Trinidad governments don’t do wha de Guyanese call “Frastrate me”, I plan to visit them places too pun de REDJet.
Speaking of G.T., ah had a session wid that Caribbean icon Dave Martins of the Tradewinds one night and he reinforce how Caribbean people does use humour to diffuse situations.
He say one day he driving wid de wife, and the madam pun de phone when she see a policeman. She pelt de cellphone into the back seat, but the officer see she and pull she over. In a most penitent mood, she confess to the officer and beg forgiveness. “What is yuh name?” says de officer. Muh girl recognize she had an ace in de car and bawl out “Annette Arjoon and Dave Martins!” “Hold on,” de officer say as he went back to the police vehicle.
Meanwhile Dave exits de car to stretch he long legs and the officer beckons to him to come to the police car, where an excited female officer asks, “You is Dave Martins? You is de man who write Cricket In De Jungle? Sign something for me please.”  
The road violation by now forgotten, Dave obliges and then all go their merry way! We Caribbean people know how to use humour to ease tension.
A former cabinet minister in Bubbadus one night was awakened by a somewhat frightened wife, who said: “You hear that noise? A man downstairs in we house, go and check.”
Without batting an eyelid, the husband said: “You hear he call my name? He tell you he got a message fuh me? If he got a message fuh me he gwine come upstairs and knock pun de door; otherwise do not disturb my sleep, woman.”
It don’t always work to yuh benefit. One night de Vendor get stop pun de highway fuh speeding.
Officer asks wha’s you name? “Market Vendor,” I reply.
“Market, that is you?” I did waiting fuh you fuh a long time.” Ah did want to tell he, “Well, ah get here as fast as I could,” but de words didn’t come out.
I Market Vendor gone fuh now.
You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hearrrrr?

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