This week we continue our presentation of letters and/or interviews with men whose relationships have failed.
MAYBE?BECAUSE?I am a coward, I didn’t have the courage to drink poison or hang myself, but what I went through with my former partner would send any man crazy. What she put me through was worse than just a horn.
What really angers me is that I was a good man to her. For the seven years and months that we were together, I never so much as looked at another woman, far less touched one. But more than that, I gave everything that I had to make her into the woman that she is today.
And all I ever wanted in return was her love. Instead I was used. Let me explain.
When I met her she was 19 and innocent. I was her first man. Because of that and the fact that I am 16 years older than she is, I really cherished her. I was involved at the time when we met, but quickly ended that relationship and focused solely on her.
I enjoyed her personality, sense of humour, helpfulness and good looks. To me she was a treasure and I felt fortunate to have landed such a catch. Because of that I treated her like a queen. Nothing was too much for me not to give her.
We never had any problems to speak of during our relationship until the night when her deceit was revealed to me. I guess that is why her betrayal hit me for six. I could not believe it!
Anyway, in all those years I took care of her every need – from what she wore to what she ate. I pushed her to go back to school and study. And when she had a year on her new job, I backed her so she could get a new car.
As I said, things were going well, but then after six years and months together I had an accident at work and developed severe back problems. My whole life changed from then as I could not do most things for myself in the months that followed. The pain was excruciating, and simple things I took for granted, like leaning over a sink to brush my teeth, became painful tasks.
Things changed
As the accident happened around the time she was preparing for her final exams I told her that I would get a relative of mine to stay with us to help take care of me. So my niece came over and stayed with us for about six weeks before leaving to go overseas to further her studies as planned.
That’s when my madam suggested her cousin replace her. I had no difficulty with the suggestion as he had come to the house a couple of times with her, and he seemed nice enough. He was her mother’s brother son, and was two years her junior.
Of course, during this period she and I were not intimate, neither did we go anywhere or do anything together as I was incapacitated. She never seemed to mind, as I did not object to her going out with her girlfriends and taking along her cousin to keep off the fellows.
Unbeknown to me, though, this young man was not looking after my interest as I thought. Rather, he was enjoying himself with his older cousin, while eating and drinking my food and living under my roof. He lived at my house for just over a year and for most of that time it seems the two of them used to have sex. But it was how I found out that I would never forget.
Though I was getting better with the help of lots of physiotherapy, I still took painkillers as I could not stand the pain I sometimes got. I did this without my doctor’s knowledge as he was always concerned about the possibility of my becoming dependent on these drugs. Anyway, whenever I felt uncomfortable I would take a tablet and it not only numbed the pain but helped me to sleep.
Now, all these months we had no relations whatsoever and she never once complained about it either. As a man, I became concerned about that and told her more than once what I thought I could do to bring her some relief. But she always assured me that I did not need to worry as she could wait. And, of course, I believed her.
By then we had stopped sleeping in the same bed, too, as I moved around a lot at night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. But this happened when my niece was there. So the madam slept in the room next to mine and kept the adjoining door open so that if I cried out she could hear and come to me.
I said all of that to give some background of how things were before that fateful night.
Revelation
That night she gave me the tablet and some water, kissed me and said she was going outside to watch a DVD with her cousin. I told her no problem, I would take the tablet and sleep. She said she would check on me as usual before she turned in.
I began to read the paper and fell asleep without taking the tablet. When I awoke all I could hear was the muffled noise of the TV. As my sidelight was on I looked cross into the next room where I would normally see her feet on the single bed.
She wasn’t in it.
So, with the help of my stick I got up and slowly made my way outside towards the front house where the noise from the TV was coming from. Then I saw them. I stood there speechless watching my madam and her cousin going at it. To tell the truth, I was so stunned, I could say nothing.
Somehow she saw me standing there leaning against the wall and stopped him. I still couldn’t say anything because I felt as if I was choking; it was as if something was in my throat stopping me from talking. All I could do was to stare at their sweaty, naked bodies.
She looked at me and told me she was lonely and didn’t mean to hurt me. She said other things, too, but the truth is that I never heard her because by then my head was spinning.
I awoke in my bed hours later. To this day I don’t know how I got there. But when I got up, both of them were gone, so were their clothes. I called for her at her mother’s house and the mother cursed me for throwing her daughter out of my house and put down the phone in my ears. I never got a chance to get in a word.
I called for her at her workplace and because she has caller ID, she never took my calls. She never answered her cellphone either. She just blanked me.
Because of my condition I could not get around to see her, and my sister’s husband, on whom I had to depend then for transport, would not take me to see her.
I would admit that I hate what she did to me, and at one time I hated her too. But I just wish she would call and say something to me because I truly miss her.
