EVERY PARENT HOPES and prays their child will do well at school and leave fully qualified in some discipline so as to provide adequately for themselves.
So what if after completing his/her A levels, your 17-year-old wants to stop studying and find a job.
They want to do this because they are unclear about precisely what they would like to do as a career.
What would you advise that child to do?
A single mother in that situation called us for advice, and her dilemma is the basis for this week’s question.
She explained that she did not want her son to lime with the boys in the neighbourhood as most of them don’t even have school leaving certificates, far less CXCs.
The mother feels university would offer the structured environment he needs to keep him focused, and eventually he will figure out what he wants to do for a career.
However, she is worried that with jobs being scarce he will end up at home with nothing to do, and “as the devil finds work for idle hands”, he will be sucked into lawlessness, or worse, the drug culture in their district. This is because of his penchant for innocently befriending people.
We understand her fears and share her concerns. However, we feel that children do not often stray far from their moral moorings when given the freedom to choose. We also told her that she could not continue shielding her son from the unsavoury elements in this world, but must allow him to make his choices, only intervening to advise and give guidance when necessary.
This position is supported somewhat by those who responded to the question. Most said the child should be allowed to work for a while to get on-the-job experience before proceeding onto university.
The following are select edited versions of responses received:
• “My advice is to let them go for a year and then they will realize how tough it is in the working world and that you can’t really get on without a university degree. Then they would go back to school.”
• “I would not deter him/her from venturing out
to experience the working world, especially if they’re unclear on what about precisely what they would like to do. Perhaps experiencing what’s out there and realizing that he/she need more education to compete would encourage them back to school. You just have to hope that your guidance in their lives would steer them in the right direction they choose.”
• “Nothing is wrong with taking a year off to get some experience, clear your mind, make some money and continue afterwards.”
• “If a child is unsure of what he/she wants to do with their life, what exactly would they be going to university to do? I would advise that the child be allowed to find a job and experience the world of work. When he/she decides the direction they want to take, they would end studying again. The work experience gained would be good for their résumé.
“Too often, students, having completed university, enter the workplace with a false sense of what to expect. They want to land that big job right away without any sort of experience.
“Next, they don’t know how to appropriately conduct themselves in the workplace as all they know about are books.
“So if that child does not know the direction they want to go, work experience would help them in the long run.”
• “This young man should be encouraged to go to university.”
• “In today’s world, a degree does not get you a job, but without a degree these days you don’t stand a chance. I have some friends with degrees but they are unemployed. This parent should allow her son to make his own decisions. He was not a failure and if he has the desire to find employment and he is successful, give him the opportunity.”
• “When you read the advertisements for job opportunities, about 95 per cent ask for people with job experience plus a degree. How are you going to get this job experience when all you ever did was beat books?
“In my country about 90 per cent of people who intend to go away to study seek job experience first, even the island scholars choose to wait about two years before they go off to study.
That period helps you to develop greater responsibility and to understand how the work force functions.”
• “We all went through that phase and wanted to take a break, but that child should pursue further education while it is still affordable and they are still free of life’s other responsibilities. Promise him or her that after the degree and Master’s that they could take a break for a year – no work, no school – just relax.”
• “Let him work as long as it is legal and productive. Give him a chance to get to know himself and what he wants to do that would be most suitable for the person that he is. Maybe he could create his own job. The key thing is for him to do something – no liming or becoming a menace to society.”
• “A break gives breathing space to think and evaluate oneself on what one wants in life. If you force the child to go to school, that child will not do it for himself but only for the parent.”
• “By completing A levels your child has shown that they are smart. Allow him/her to take a break from school to venture into the world of work for a year or two if that is what your child wants. But do not, under any circumstances, contribute financially while your child is employed. Establish a bank account and teach him/her to save. This move will teach wise financial planning as they mature.”
