Dear Christine,
I am writing to you because I am very unhappy, lonely and depressed.
You see, I lost my husband a year ago after a short illness.
We had been married for 35 years.
I thought by now that I would have started feeling better, but I can hardly sleep, and food tastes like straw in my mouth.
My son who lives abroad is urging me to come for a long holiday, but I do not want to go feeling as I do.
How can I pull myself together?
– V.
Dear V,
Thirty-five years are like a lifetime and it will take more than a year for you to get over the death of your husband.
Each day will be a challenge for you as you seek to build a life different from the one you knew for so many years.
Console yourself with the fact that your husband was deeply loved and with the knowledge that this great sadness which you feel is one which all the bereaved face.
Depression can be a real killer if not treated.
It robs you of the very essence of life, and brings with it insomnia and, at times, thoughts of suicide. Not sleeping or enjoying your meals is not going to help, as this would further nurture your depressed feelings.
Being in a different environment would be a plus for you. That’s why I believe that you should accept your son’s invitation and go overseas for that long holiday.
When you return you should consider joining a service club or taking up a hobby of some sort.
One sure way of fighting depression is to get active and involved in the lives of others. This takes your mind off your own situation and allows you to see your worth.
I am sure that your dear husband would not want you to be depressed over his death, and would expect you to be courageous and fight on.
You can also read some of the Psalms in the Bible.
I recommend Psalm 46 and Psalm 121.
Take courage and embrace life.
– Christine
