WOMEN ARE STILL socialised to believe that to be a “complete female” they should have a husband and children.
And this ingrained belief, some suggest, is the motivation that drives some women to compromise their standards in their choice of men as they age and have acquired neither.
This was the predominate response to the question: Do you think it is a yearning for love, or a case of the biological clock ticking loudly, that causes some women to compromise their standards in their choice of men?
Most of those who called, texted and emailed said that women were heavily influenced by what society thought, and this factor caused even the most independent woman to seek out a relationship so people could see that she was indeed a woman.
“There are women who don’t need men because of the amount of money they make, but those women never really get any respect until they get married or have a child,” said one caller. She added: “When they remain single, people say they either like women [lesbian] or they are living with somebody’s husband.”
A male caller was more pointed: “As women have to look good in society, they get married sometimes knowing they and the man cannot last, but at least they are respectable. Check the number of women who are called Mrs but they and the man broke up years ago.”
Another man noted that because society now accepted single women with children, that was why one was seeing even more “well-educated, unmarried, single women in top positions having children” because they’re getting older and want to complete that part of their life while they can do so safely.
The following were some of the other views on this issue:
Depending on the time of life, it can be both. I never got any hugs, kisses, kind words, encouragement or support growing up. I, therefore, fell into the wrong relationships, yearning for love.
I had a child out of an early relationship so I never felt that my biological clock was running out. But other women who didn’t have children mentioned this to me – the societal or family expectation is “we” should be in a relationship, if not something may be wrong with us. So I think people rush things in order to “fit in” and end up in wrong relationships.
Unfortunately, a lot of women have found themselves in a position where they were raised without a man in their lives to show them how a young girl should be loved and respected.
Some girls are touched at an early age by older men and that desire for attention or love is kindled. Regrettably, this touch usually is from an intimate perspective and not necessarily showing love or respect.
These women then find themselves searching for that person who will love and respect them and more than likely will settle for anything.
I strongly believe it’s the way a woman views herself. If you see yourself as a woman of value, you know that valuables are treated with respect and dignity.
Some of us need to occupy our time doing things we enjoy instead of being so preoccupied with just having a man.
Another reason some of us are not available for love is that we always have some loser blocking up the highway so the real man can’t see you. Clear your highway and I promise that a real brother will be able to see you.
I think that women are just annoyed with the way they are treated by certain types of men. You see a well-dressed man who seems to be well-mannered, but when you get acquainted with him, he’s not what you thought.
On the other hand, a man with locks or plaited hair, or who is not so well groomed or has an aggressive attitude towards others, may be a real gentleman when you get to know him.
Women probably don’t know who is the right one to choose these days because of the changes in men. They may still have their standards, but what they are seeking and the men they believe might have those qualities, might not. This leads women to waste many years waiting for Mr Right.
After a few years they get frustrated, change their outlook on men and get one who would not be a top choice.