So, there I was, a simple Vendor, tekking up most of de space in a Seat car, parked outside a Tesco supermarket in Birmingham, (not Alabama) Britain, listening to Adele singing one of dem haunting songs that does bring tears to yuh eyes and fuh once enjoying radio, widout all de foolish talk from a DJ.
Able to listen to a whole song widout interruption, waiting pun de madam and wondering wha’ she doing in Tesco so long. After all, she went to buy three items and been in de place 35 minutes so far. It mighta been September, but it cold outside.?Ah wearing two tee shirts and a big sweater, chilling to Adele. Life sweet and precious!
All of a sudden, de Seat rocking from side to side, Lord have mercy, earthquake!
But wait, earthquakes don’t try to open car doors. Looking round, I see a man, tall dark and hooded trying to brek off de driver side door to get in! Ah can’t see he face but when I unleash some Brass Bowls, he turn and disappear.
I den realized it wasn’t no earthquake, de man did trying to car-jack de Vendor. Thankfully, I does always, always, lock de car doors! Supposing de doors did unlock? The results coulda been totally different. Ah have to assume he was armed, that he see I is not a li’l fella and he still prepare to come after me! It couldn’t be de Seat he was after, an Audi, Benz or Beemer, (ah woulda give he de keys to de Seat).
He was after something else and it could only be money. A friend from Grenada say Market, “you lose weight? ’Cause I can’t believe he see you size and did still plan pun entering!”
Since den, I ponder pun the various outcomes that might have been and give thanks to de Almighty that I did not have to deal wid one of them!
Tek, fuh example, de story of a man named Vincent Cooke, 39 years old, married and with a 12-year-old son. Mr Cooke, a business executive, was apparently sitting at he home valued at about BDS$1.5m wid he family, when all of a sudden, two knife-wielding men did brekking into he house to tief he Rolex watch and a safe whichin them felt had in plenty sterling notes!
De wife and son do what most would do, them run, and poor Mr Cooke tek on de two fellows heself. One had a knife at he throat and tell he that he was going to die. So fighting fuh he life, and defending he property, brave Vincent Cooke manage to get hold of a kitchen knife and stab one of de robbers, the other one fleeing while this robber, Raymond Jacob died.
So Vincent Cooke is a hero right? No, Mr Cooke get arrested on suspicion of murder, traumatised and devastated by what happened to he and he family, held in custody, family can’t go back to de house ’cause police looking fuh clues, dusting this and dusting that and a man who should be hailed as a hero looking like a villain because he defend he castle and contents!
Meanwhile, de dead burglar family laying flowers and notes outside Mr Cooke’s home “to my baby boy who will always be my baby boy, I will miss you but never stop loving you, Mum”.
Mum, while ah feel yuh pain, yuh shoulda teach yuh baby boy not to tief and be a criminal and Mr Cooke, to de Vendor, you is a hero, and to de police, de law is definitely an ass!
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
