Wednesday, April 17, 2024

I CONFESS – I left my cheating husband


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I AM APPALLED at the publication of that confession last week, in which you allowed a mistress to glorify her lifestyle. It was wrong and distasteful to give her so much space to talk about her life with somebody’s husband for 11 years.
The truth of the matter is that women who seduce married men can have no good reason for doing it other than being home wreckers or gold-diggers.
How else can they explain why they allow a man who lives with a woman and children to sleep with them?
Why else would they be involved with a married man for years, taking his money and gifts, while believing his promises to soon leave his wife?
I, for one, do not buy that foolish talk about love either. Yes, I know that people from all walks of life fall for others, and married people are no exception. But when a woman falls for a man who is already taken and, instead of walking away from him because the relationship has little chance of growing, sleeps with him in the hope of stealing that man away from his wife, that is not love.
That is deceit and “wuflessness”!
I am not foolish. I know a married man and even a married woman may stray at some point. But such flings only last a few weeks to several months at the most before those involved come to their senses and realize their responsibilities and stop.
But when a woman continues to “live with” a married man in spite of him not leaving his wife, it is clear she is up to no good. Such women should not be given the time of day. Yes, I am emotional about this subject because my children and I went through hell because of such a woman.
For nearly a year I had to live with insults from her, while enduring the pain of having to make do with less money to run the house and provide the basic necessities.
That woman was so nasty that she used to call me after he left by her to let me know he was coming home and that he would be too tired to deal with me.
Other times she would call and tell me how my husband said I did not satisfy him and that’s why he was with her.
She even used to speak about what they did together just to hurt me. And I would admit now that it did get to me. I used to feel real bad, as if I was worthless.
Those were dark days. Not only did I feel bad, but I had to use my wits to get food for my children. Things got so hard that many times I had to go and beg my family or friends for food to cook and used clothes and shoes for the children.
My husband just could not tear himself away from that woman. And I could see how happy he was whenever he came from by her or was leaving home on evening to go to spend the night there. Other women who went through similar things would know how low I felt. That was the worst part of my life.
More than the lack of support, though, were the lashes I got twice when I opened my mouth and told him what I thought about how he was behaving.
The first time, that man gave me a slap across my face that stunned me. That was the first time in the eight years we were friends up to that point that he had ever raised his hand against me.
The second time was worse.
It happened about a year into his fling. I was so frustrated with what he was doing that in the long vacation I decided to take the children and stay up by my mother. The day we came home, though, I realized that someone with greasy hair was sleeping on my pillow.
I knew his keep-miss had her hair straightened, so I figured it could only be her sleeping in my bed, on my pillow, in my home!
I completely lost my temper and began attacking him with a broomstick.
I hit him so hard across his back that it broke, and then he cuffed me and burst my mouth.
We began fighting so bad and the children started shouting and crying so much that the neighbours had to come in to part us. That night he told me to get out of his house and not to come back. And I left.
I went back by my mother with my swollen mouth and my two children and swore never to deal with him again.
After that I struggled to support myself and my children. I weeded the road, did maid work, plaited hair, and worked at a gas station to make ends meet. I had it tough. But praise God, I survived and my children learnt well – they did me proud.
In the eight years and months since that night, I learnt how strong I am as a woman, and that I don’t need to take foolishness from any man in the name of love.
I also learnt the importance of earning my own money. That guarantees independence and not having to stand for any abuse.
As for my husband, he and that woman lived together for nearly five years before they had a big falling out. And, like me, she, too, had to leave.
He went through a number of women since then, but it seems no one can remain with him because he’s too wicked.


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