Dear Christine,
Here’s a situation I’m in and I’ll like your advice.
For the past three years the father of my five-year-old son refused to have anything to do with me.
We were friends and lovers before he found love elsewhere with a much younger woman. Last month out of the blue he called to tell me he wanted to be a true father to his son and he also wanted me back into his life.
Christine, I was shocked. He told me the relationship between him and the girl was a big mistake and he discovered she only wanted him for his money.
When we broke up it took a while for me to come to grips with the hurt and pain he caused, but I decided to hold my head up high and move forward with my life.
I have since found a really loving gentleman who has been a “father” to my son. We do quite a lot of things together – including attend church (which I never could get my ex to do), and I care for him deeply.
The feelings for my ex have been stirred since we’ve connected, but when I think of the pain that he caused me, I am not sure that I should let him back into my life.
My mother has told me that I should give him another chance for my son’s sake. Christine, what do you think?
– Heather
Dear Heather,
I believe you should give him the opportunity to be a father to his son, but to let him back into your life is a whole different matter. He would have a lot of proving to do.
You said that you have moved on with your life and that you’ve found “a really loving gentleman”. What more can you ask for?
After leaving you alone with a child to raise, what gives him the right to come from out of the blue and decide he wants you back? Does he think that he owns you?
Furthermore, has he discussed a permanent relationship, such as marriage? Probably not!
Your mum is wrong to suggest that you give him a chance. I simply see him as a big distraction in your life right now, and believe you should stay focused.
Forgive him if you have not already done that, and keep moving on with your new lease on life and love.
– CHRISTINE
