Women can me?some strange creatures. They harp on finding a good man, someone to treat them like a queen, and then when they do find them, sometimes they’re still shopping around for someone else.
Is it a case of boredom? Or is simply dissatisfaction, spurred by the hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s someone better.
This seems to be the case with the woman who asked for a response to the question: Should a woman who is in a steady relationship accept presents like lingerie or jewellery from a male admirer who she is not involved with, but who she knows likes her? She wants to but she knows her man would be upset.
It should stand to reason that if you’re in a serious relationship, the thought of accepting gifts from another man should never enter your head. Right?
And this point was brought out by some of those who responded.
• One woman said: “No she should not. That is disrespectful to her man and giving false hope to another, which could cause lots of drama later that no one wants.”
• Another said: “If she knows her man will be upset, then she shouldn’t do it. Unless she doesn’t care about him. Is it really worth the aggravation?
• A man added: “I agree she should not because it gives you the impression that you can be more than just her admirer. But saying and doing are two different things.”
• Yet another agreed with this position, saying: “That will be making this man feel that you want him. Plus, any man buying perfume and lingerie means he wants you smelling good while wearing the lingerie he plans on taking off of you.”
• Another male perspective: “There is no way she should accept them. If she does it will send him the wrong message. Furthermore, to make her point she should tell him she understands his feeling for her but she is not the type of woman who accepts such gifts from someone other than her sweetheart.”
But the bigger issue is why a woman in a relationship would entertain such thoughts.
I mean, if you’re really satisfied with your relationship, no one else should matter. Not to mention that it makes the woman seem cheap and classless.
• “It’s just greed if she does. The man she is with can buy those things for her or she can buy her own. If they are in a steady relationship, why accept personal gifts from another guy? He will just want more . . . and she will be using him,” a woman commented.
• Another said: “If I was dating or married and another man offered me any form of gifts, and knowing that he had an interest in me sexually, it would be a straight no.”
• “No, you shouldn’t take it. There is always an agenda with most people. It’s very rare someone spends money on someone and doesn’t want something in return. And if he knows you are with someone and still does that, he can’t be good news at all,” one more advised.
• “I do not feel that any woman that is involved in a relationship should be accepting any gifts from a man that she knows likes her. It is wrong! That is leading the man on and to a certain extent using him. That is making her man look a fool too and painting a picture that her man does not shower her with such gifts that she feels the need to have to take them from this male admirer, or she is just plain greedy,” one individual explained.
In a nutshell then, this woman, and others that may be faced with such a situation, are advised that they should thank the man for the gesture, but explain to him that she cannot accept the gifts. What’s more, they should also ask the man to refrain from doing so.
Clearly, when a male admirer is allowed to do things like this, he feels he has something over the woman and could easily threaten her with exposure to her partner or even violence if his advances are rejected and his hopes dashed.
My grandmother always used to tell me when I was growing up, “a man would promise you the moon and the stars, shower you with gifts and tell you anything just to get that sweetness!”
Nothing is free, ladies; there is always a price!