Speaking as a consumer, I would like to share with you my view that perhaps the most annoying thing about LIME is its telemarketing research department (I have made up the name of the department, but I mean the people who call you up with those surveys).
Although their representatives are well-spoken, if you manage to make a little small talk with them, for some reason, they are unable to read fluently the English written on their own survey sheets, since they stumble over questions which are easily predictable.
In addition, they never take “no” for an answer. No matter how rude you might be to them, they will call you back some time later with the same routine, so folks, you might as well give in the first time.
Equally annoying is the LIME marketing SWAT team (another made-up name) which from time to time seems to seize control of the company’s text messaging app. They too, are unfazed by the thought that they could annoy their customers so much that they would not buy anything they are offering, no matter how cheap. Well, that might just be me.
When they get into a text messaging mood, hurricanes might rage and earthquakes might devastate, but you will receive the same text ten times in one day.
For those of us who now jump to the rings and pings of our dastardly mobile phone – perhaps because they create some drama in our otherwise boring lives – it is an unkind cut to realize we have been made to summon the adrenalin over and over again only to find it is just another LIME text.
“Get free texting between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. tomorrow and after midnight on Sunday,” is the kind of thing I think I have seen from LIME, but then I am unreliable on this because as soon I see it is yet another text from them I refuse to read it.
But the damage has been done, valuable adrenalin needed to be spent jumping to answer texts from family and clients has been splurged on LIME.
But back to the market research people. Why do they find it so hard to read from a script? Having just moved office, somebody told them I had also just had a new landline put in, so they got on my case. Would I mind taking a brief survey on the “experience”?
I was annoyed with LIME that day for another reason, so I said bluntly: “No, I am annoyed with LIME today.” And I hung up. Yes, I know it was quite rude of me, so let me apologise to my good friends up there at Windsor Lodge.
A few shifts later, I got the call again. Now, when a telephone person comes to put in the phone, I don’t equate it with the “experience” of, say, going to see a show on Broadway. You try to get out of the way, you exchange pleasantries, you commiserate with them on all the crawling under tables the job seems to entail, and boom, they’re done.
However, for LIME, it is a big deal, and in a way, I am happy to know they care enough to be calling around to find out how we liked the experience. So, this time around, I said I wouldn’t mind taking “the survey” and prepared myself for a good cross examination.
There was only one question. How would I rate the service on a scale of one to five? I said: “Five.” But the voice on the other end still had to read from the script, so it was explained to me that a “1” meant I was really unhappy with it and a “five” meant the opposite. So I repeated the word “five” just to be clear.
That was it, because the next question was about whether I wanted to take part in some sort of competition and win prizes.
That one got a “no” from me, and then I waited for the marketer to stumble through the “thank you, and have a pleasant life” closing paragraph before hanging up. I felt that if I didn’t, she would probably call me back to finish it off.
Of course, at least LIME delivered their service, which is more than I can still say for MCTV, which I wrote about in a column late last year.
So have many others.
Here you have this Government corporation going to parliament for taxpayer money to pay their bills (including Government taxes) and yet cannot service the demand they have for new installations. In our case, it is three months now since close to $500 was paid to MCTV for a new service and still they say they are waiting on “equipment”, by which they mean those little decoder boxes of theirs.
Through forensic questioning, I have learned that they apparently have the antennas. (The question was: “What do you mean by equipment? Is it antennas or boxes?”)
What private sector firm would allow the Christmas season to go by without servicing every last waiting customer and maybe some others too? How can you run your already broke business so badly that you cannot anticipate demand properly over 20 years after starting it? And if there is a problem with sourcing your “boxes” surely there are other places you can purchase them from? Tried China lately? Big country. Lots of decoder suppliers.
The problem is that at MCTV, providing the service does not create the paycheck for the employee. I cannot get a red cent in my hand unless I actually provide a service. But at CBC and its out-of-control offspring MCTV, people get paid whether or not they provide services. It is that simple.
You and I foot their bill because the politicians on both sides will not allow the TV monopoly to slip out of their grasp because they think it helps them stay in power by controlling the messages they want to send. They hang on to MCTV as well despite the state of the economy because without its cash flow, CBC would be in even more dire straits.
So while I complain about LIME’s tiresome survey people, at least they are asking me about a service they have actually delivered and are giving me a chance to praise or criticize it. Kudos for that, just try to do it better.
As for those LIME texters gone wild, I can only note that if LIME had to pay for each message sent to me, I wouldn’t be getting so many.
Happy New Year!
