Dear Christine,
THIS LETTER IS REALLY A WARNING to young, impressionable girls who may be taken in by older, experienced and unscrupulous men.
For several years I have been involved with a man who is 20 years my senior. For the first few months everything was smooth-running. I now realize that this was the “bait period” during which time he was as nice as possible.
He took me everywhere and gave me everything. Of course, I was too young to see through him, and having been brought up in a very strict home, this freedom was heady.
As soon as he had me hooked, he started reeling in the bait. Not a fly could alight on his woman.
I could not talk to anyone of the opposite sex, no matter how innocent.
I can only go out where he is taking me.
We do not live together but I am often at his place. If he calls my number and it is busy, he curses me and my friends.
To him, my friends are the scum of the earth. Needless to say, all my girlfriends are normal, regular people of decent and law-abiding backgrounds, but he has tried to destroy everyone’s character.
My life right now is restricted to working, reading and watching television – which are all good things to do, but I want more out of life.
Any attempt to pursue activities which interest me results in arguments in which he threatens all kinds of things. He does not trust anyone.
Even my male relatives are suspect and anytime I leave the house, I have “gone to meet a man”.
I know now that these men who latch on to young girls are aware that their ship is returning to harbour and they are trying to hold on to their youth and show they can still handle business by holding down a woman young enough to be their daughter.
They turn out to be suspicious, overly possessive and their generosity cannot make up for their stifling attitude. I am not a prostitute.
I just try to live life as any young person would.
I would like to be involved in clean, innocent fun, but even my love for travel has been curtailed.
So, why don’t I leave you ask . . . Because I am afraid, that’s why.
He has threatened to shoot me if I do so.
So I don’t try to be a hero.
These neurotic men don’t seem to be making fun these days. I have made a terrible mistake but hope and pray I will get out in one peace.
– A
Dear A,
I was softly humming the words to that famous calypso “Tell them slavery done”, when I came across your letter.
Indeed, slavery is done, why are you still allowing yourself to live in slavery?
If he has threatened to shoot you, you can go to the police and lay a complaint.
However, I gather the reason why you may be hesitant to do so is because this man has become your financial life line.
Sadly, he has also become your “mafia boss man”. Whatever he says goes, and you have been caught in a web so strong, it is hard to break free.
You should not be living like this. Don’t you have a father or someone in whom you confide, and who can help you to untangle yourself from this man’s grip?
He must be a very insecure person to want to latch on to you and keep you back from enjoying life.
Having said all that, I still thank you for your letter, which should serve as a warning to young girls who give themselves over to men who burden them and imprison them.
It’s a good thing that you do not live under the same roof as this man. I shudder to imagine what would happen if you did.
All that glitters is not gold, and the sweet talk and pretence of providing security were just traps being laid for you.
You are going to have to stand up to this man, and please do not allow him to stop you from doing those things you enjoy doing. I also pray that God would help you get out of this situation.
– CHRISTINE
