Wednesday, April 17, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: In a bind over proposal

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Dear Christine,
Four years ago I met a man at the Gold Cup race. He was accompanied back then by his five-year-old nephew.
At that time, my two children were two and six years old respectively. In the four years that I have known this man, I have never wanted for anything either for me or my children.
He took us to the United States Embassy for visas and we have visited Canada, The United States, Britain and France. He introduced me to his family and they have seemingly taken me into the fold. Whenever there are family “get-togethers” my children and I are always present, whether these meetings take place in Barbados or overseas.
He says his most satisfying moments are when the children call him daddy. They always want to do everything together.
He says he has always wanted a child, but now he has met me, he is hoping that I will give him the chance to adopt mine legally as his own. He tells me if I want them to keep their maiden names that he is okay with that. They have been christened in my name.
This man is even more caring now than when we first met, and he has always been caring.
My problem is that he says he is tired of introducing me as his friend. He wants to introduce me as his wife. My friends keep telling me that he might change after we are married. They say it is a big step and I should not rush into anything.
I am also at a lost to find out how he could really care for me, because if I say to him that I am going out with my girlfriend he says: “Okay! Enjoy yourself dear”.
Now, if he tells me that he is going to a domino game and I asked him to stay at home, he calls his friends to let them know that he will be staying at home.
Do you think this man is too soft? Do you think I should marry him?
– IN A BIND
Dear In A Bind,
Sometimes in life things are going so good for us that we find it hard to believe just how fortunate we are.
Judging from everything you’ve told me, this man seems pretty committed to you and your children. Why are you in a bind and why are you listening to your friends, who may well envy you?
I agree that marriage is a big step, but hasn’t this man proven himself to you? It has been four long years since you both met, and he’s still there. If he has made the decision to marry you, why are you questioning this action, and not all the actions he has performed during those years?
He allows you to go out with your girlfriends because he has given you your freedom, and because he trusts you. Why would that be a problem for you?
Based on what you’ve told me, you should consider marrying him if you’re in love with him.
I definitely do not think that he is too soft. On the contrary, I believe he is caring and that he loves you and your children a great deal. That’s why he has invested so much in you during the past four years.
Go ahead and become Mrs . . . I think you’ll be making the right choice.
– CHRISTINE  

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