Dear Christine,
I LOST MY HUSBAND five years and was really devastated by his death.
When he was alive we would visit your beautiful island every two years. During our visits we met many people and made friends with quite a few. I really love your island.
About a year ago while on the island visiting some friends I was introduced to a gentleman. We started communicating via mail and our friendship (we’re not sexually involved) has grown in the past months.
He has asked me if I would contemplate moving to the island permanently. He wants me to sell my property back home and for us to purchase a property here together.
My children, grandchildren and all my relatives live in Canada. He on the other hand only has one sister on the island. All his other relatives are living in his home country of . . . I have asked him about moving to Canada instead, but he said he does not know about that.
Christine, clearly there seems to be a roadblock somewhere. He is adamant that he does not want to live in Canada, but while I love Barbados, I am not prepared to leave my children and other relatives behind to move here.
Do you see anywhere where we can compromise? Or, do you think this friendship is going nowhere fast?
– R. L.
Dear R.L.,
I am more leaning towards the last suggestion: “this friendship is going nowhere fast”.
Neither you nor this man wants to relocate, which means you must be willing to continue your long distance friendship. I would certainly not encourage you to sell what you have to move to Barbados.
You have a lot more to lose than he does, as he only has one sister on the island. And, please, do not entertain any plans to purchase a property here with this man whom you have only known for over a year.
The mere fact that you’ve written this letter tells me that you’re not comfortable with something about this friendship or about his suggestions. Follow your instincts.
Continue to enjoy Barbados as you’ve been enjoying in the past. I cannot tell you not to maintain a friendship with this man, but please be very cautious and thread carefully.
– CHRISTINE
