Dear Christine,
You help many people who are in need of advice, friendship, relationship and charity.
Please forgive me if I do not have any sympathy for the endless Barbadian women who repeatedly fall into the same trap each and every time.
Almost weekly or two to three times a week it is the same scenario, mistakes and situations. The only difference is that [the writers] are different people with different backgrounds.
Barbadian women get involved with men knowing that the men are already married or in relationships. Or, they start off in a relationship not knowing but discover this after. What do they do? They “choose” to continue in this relationship. They have the choice to end the relationship, but they choose to stay. A few months later they are hoping the men will leave their wives or girlfriends. They also end up pregnant in the hope that the pregnancy will have a hold on the men.
Each time they repeat this scenario until they end up with four mouths to feed from four different men, no man in their lives and no work as they go into these relationships with the intention of having the man support them.
Half of them have diseases as they don’t wish to comprehend that the same way the man is fooling them, he is also fooling others, which means he is playing around with other ladies.
If you need to be intimate, use protection! In this day and age, why would you think that in order to have sex and enjoy it, you have to get pregnant? Leave the unwanted babies out of this world; stop bringing unwanted babies into unhappy, insecure, financially troubled homes, with no father figure who can give the proper structure to make a happy home.
Leave out the unwanted baby girls who will grow up in a home with too many “uncles” and stepbrothers and stepfather who will rape them and leave them unstable. Why do you have to do these things?
Barbados is a small island with too many sex offenders on the loose, who are living in cramped confines as families are cash-strapped.
Women keep having a new father for her many children, like she changes clothes, leaving the children exposed, vulnerable and to only go to repeat what they know no better.
Get a job! Be your own woman. Enjoy sex, but leave the unwanted babies to God. You don’t want them, so don’t bring them into this world; when you make a mistake, it is your own. Do not burden your children with your mishaps.
– ANGRY
Dear Angry,
I am in total agreement with your letter and I am sure many others feel the way you do.
I must say, however, that Barbadian women are no different from women all over the world, and what you are describing is what goes on in many societies, often within minorities.
Sometimes it is hard to tell women that they need to take better care of their bodies, stop getting children for everyone who comes along, and they need to be more independent. They don’t want you to tell them that they are helping to increase poverty because of their lifestyles, or due to the fact that they are bringing unwanted children into the world when they are unable to offer them the necessary financial or even moral and emotional support.
There are many hard-working, independent and intelligent women in our society, but then they are those who live their lives today without a thought for tomorrow. They scheme, plot and commit “acts of indecency” just to acquire the material and fleeting things in life, without giving a thought to the example they are setting for their children and other youth around them.
Thanks for speaking the truth. I can only hope that those to whom you referred will start taking stock of their lives, starting today.
– CHRISTINE
