Dear Christine,
My four-year-old granddaughter told me that when her mother is away at work on weekends, her stepfather takes a bath with her when it’s time for her tub at night.
When I mentioned this to my daughter, she ran from the room in tears. Later, she said she saw nothing wrong with this.
Both her oldest sister and I disagree with her.
It just does not seem like normal behaviour to me. What do you think?
– L.D,
Dear L.D,
I think you are right in being concerned about this practice.
This man may not mean to harm the child in any way, and he may not think in sexual terms in sharing his bath with a four-year-old.
Personally, I feel it is very unhealthy for an adult male and a little girl to share baths, even if they are bathing nude in a large swimming pool.
What you have described can easily create incestuous feelings, and your daughter’s reactions tell me she fears this may be true.
Try talking to her again, after she has had time to think it through. Let her know also that she needs to face the situation now and not try to deny or cover it up.
– CHRISTINE
