Daughter kept divorce from me

Dear Christine,
My daughter and her husband were divorced more than a year ago, and they just told me about it.
All this time they both kept up appearances. My son-in-law continued to call me every couple of months, and he never let on.
I got suspicious that something was not right when a particular situation (which I will not go into) raised its head.
I cannot understand why they did not let me know. After all, I am old enough to realize there’s nothing much I can do.
I am sorry, but if they cannot get along – they cannot get along. I really thought they did, but it is now clear they don’t share much with me.
– B.L,
 
Dear B.L,
Your daughter and son-in-law were trying to save you from worrying about their struggles and conflicts.
I honestly believe they were also trying to protect you and did what they did and the way they did, in your best interests.
I am certain that you feel hurt by this, and perhaps insulted at being totally left out of their lives and their problems, but it probably was not easy for them either.
Difficult
Breaking the news about divorce is almost always difficult and sometimes adults procrastinate facing moment with parents, or having to look at their own failures in front of parents.
If an adult has not resolved the parental ties or made some kind of emotional separation, telling parents would be more difficult.
Now that everything is out in the open, I suggest you forgive them for not telling you and try to have a closer and honest relationship with your daughter.
– CHRISTINE