Giving up gay lover for a woman


Dear Christine,
I am a 30-year-old who was gay up until recently. I thought I was very happy with my life. Now, I am really freaked out and confused because  I suddenly realized that  I am a latent heterosexual.
I know now that my strongest inclinations are in that area.
Unfortunately, this revelation came to me six months ago  after my male lover and  I bought a house and spent  a great deal of money furnishing and decorating it.
I respect him and would not want to do anything to hurt him. We are both successful professionally and knew each other for a while before we got sexually involved. At that time I was inexperienced with women  and only recently began to notice them in a sexual way.
I am now in love with  a woman who works with me  and we are in tune with each other in every way.
She knows about my situation and while she is not pressing me, she wants me to share an apartment with her.
My male friend has no inkling  of what is going on. – R.P.
Dear R.P.,
A little bell started to go off  in my head when you said your male friend does not know about your relationship with this woman. I am just hoping that you’re not having relations with them simultaneously.
You must give up one  for the other. This means, from what you’ve written, that you must face your male friend and let him know the score.
   Change is part of life  and you should not be locked into a pattern  that is uncomfortable and wrong for you.
   Tell this man what has happened and let him know your feelings of respect  for him.     If the same thing happened to him, wouldn’t you want him to be free  to be true to himself?
 Stop beating around  the bush. Free yourself  from those chains.  If you think it will make  things easier, maybe you  can confront him with your female friend at your side.
I’m sure that legal issues concerning the purchase  of the house could be  worked out.  


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