Thursday, April 25, 2024

DE MARKET VENDOR: I would show them who is boss

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Bajans gine have to find some other sport to occupy themselves over de next few months. Cricket done, de Olympics done and de Alexandra School Commission Of Inquiry done.
We learn from that $600 000 bill dat de commissioner does not approve of headmasters pitching marbles wid pupils. I wasn’t there so I don’t know why he disapprove but, seriously, pitching marbles was actually a big story coming out of the commission!
We got potholes all over de roads, Transport Board buses speeding like ZRs pun we narrow roads, Al Barrack can’t get a cent of de $70-something million dat Government owe he, VAT choking we at 17.5 per cent, de country get downgrade by Standard & Poor’s, drugs all over de place, de CLICO saga, no fishing agreement wid Trinidad and Tobago, big losses at CBC, Transport Board and other state agencies, high cost of water and inefficiencies at de Barbados Water Authority, plus a high cost of living. We got real issues and we spending $600 000 pun a commission of inquiry to tell we wha we know already?
Iffing de Vendor was in charge I woulda lay down de law wid a directive: “Wunnah get wunnah act together or all ah wunnah gine see wha leadership is about!”
In life I don’t have to “pitch marbles” wid everybody I wukking wid but when we come to work, leh we leave de egos at home and do de job we getting pay fuh.
In T&T de Honourable Mr Partap get hold a morning last week at 5 by de police after dem allegedly see he wid a bottle of alcohol getting into a car, then activating the siren and flashing light de police give he to use in an emergency.
He refuse to tek a breathalyzer test and de police carry he to Belmont Police Station. Kams had to move fast to do some damage control so she went by President Maxwell Richards and fire one – not literally.
Though, iffing I was she, between de Honourable Mr Partap and de Honourable Jack Warner I woulda fire two and den say: “Pres, ah gone. Driver, take me to Chaguanas. Allyuh causing me stress but I not going to end up like Patrick; allyuh want to kill me? Partap refusing to be tested, causing me embarrassment; Jack setting up meetings with gang leaders in Morvant. What de hell going on? Driver, stop by Smokey and Bunty in St James and leh me fire a few!”
A man who should definitely be firing a few is de prime minister of Grenada; he got a revolt pun he hands. He own troops turning pun he and bringing no confidence motions. Grenada like it heading fuh bacchanal again but Tillman is a cool dude; them don’t know who dem messing wid.
Why it taking Bubbadus so long to implement de breathalyzer testing? It is a disgusting shame that we do not see dis as an urgent matter. We ’fraid some big boys will get hold?
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

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