SOME WOMEN are not cut out to be mothers – and I am one of them. To tell the truth, I really can’t stand children. I see them as noisy, untidy little creatures who demand your time, money and energy from the day they are born until they day you die.
When they are small, you have to be running behind them doing just about everything they need to grow safely and to learn.
By the time they become young teens, they know everything and start to give you backchat. You have to have the patience of Job and the love of God not to lose your temper with them. I’ve seen many of my friends cry long tears wondering what to do to cope with them.
As they become young adults and start getting boyfriends and girlfriends, you have to keep talking to them about being responsible with their bodies, sex, and the whole nine yards about puppy love as against true love.
Along with that, you have to keep them focused on their schoolwork so they can get enough certificates to make them eligible for some kind of employment or qualified enough to go on to doing more studying.
And if – a big if – you survive that torture, then you have to deal with them as adults, having relationships, getting hurt, grandchildren and their trying to get you to raise them; loans as they are always in debt, crowding your little house as they can’t afford to rent any place for themselves; and the cycle continues.
No way. That was definitely not for me.
My reasons were simple. I saw my mother struggle to raise me and my three brothers and sister. I saw how she had to take foolishness from our fathers and other men, in particular, because she had little education to hold down a decent job to support us.
I remember, too, the jeers we had from schoolmates because we were so poor that we always looked untidy, didn’t have deodorant so tended to smell, and used to beg others for something to eat, as we were always hungry.
We grew up in two-room houses with only two beds, one for our mother, one for the me and my sister and the floor for the boys. Every house we lived in had a pit toilet and no electricity.
My early years were hell. That was why I was determined to learn and get the most out of my life. And I was even more determined to achieve what I could through my brains and not have to wait for handouts from any man.
Today I have a good job and own my own house and a car. My sister and brothers didn’t do as well. They have a bundle of children between them and are always begging me for help. For them the cycle continues.
The reason I had to talk about this is that I saw that young woman this week with five children and no job, no house, nothing! That reminded me so much of where I came from and I felt that women in particular should realize that in this day and age there is nothing to gain from having a lot of children.
I urge all women to think before they get pregnant. If you love sex, fine, but use contraceptives. Don’t just lie down and get children because once they’re born, they never go away.
