Dear Christine,
I am a young man of 21 and I am hopelessly in love with a woman who is married.
I have always been relatively shy and I know quite a lot of young women, but I just cannot get this married woman out of my head.
She has no idea whatsoever how I feel about her and this is destroying me.
I am having difficulty sleeping at night and even during the day
I am always dreaming about her. I know her to be a very friendly person and I am also aware that she is happily married.
We have been working in the same office for the past year and a half and though we speak to each other, she has no idea how I feel about her.
Can you imagine how hard it is having to see her everyday and not be able to say anything about my feelings for her?
I keep thinking that although I can never marry her, a couple of hours with her would be so much better than what I am going through right how. Â
I want to talk to her and let her know how I feel.
I have to do something or I will go crazy. Should I ask her out, perhaps?
– TED
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Dear Ted,
Do no such thing! If this woman is as happy as you believe she is in her marriage, I think even letting you down gently when you ask her out will hurt
you more.
I don’t believe that you love this woman; I think you’re lusting after her.
Still, it’s best that you leave her where she is – in your daydreams. Eventually, you’ll wake up and realize she is already taken. Full stop!
Try cultivating friendships with other young, single women and soon you’ll see for yourself that your lust for this woman will eventually die.
– CHRISTINE
