“MR WILD COOT, you are the boss man of a recently acquired business in Barbados. Why you chose Barbados?”
“Well, to tell you the trute, we in Trinidad always look up to Barbados. There is a low level of bobol in Barbados, as opposed to Trinidad, but there is some, don’t mind only recent efforts at legislation. We look across the oil-rich sea and ask the question: why little Barbados like a rock in an ocean of troubles? We see many old companies that are in need of developing, according to our standards, so we have decided to acquire them, rip the stuffing out of them, and discard what is left.”
“Surely that is not an ethical mode of behaviour!”
“Not for you, but we in Trinidad find that quite normal.”
So you intend to rip the stuffing out of the National Bank too?
“I ain’t say so –- you said it. Right now we are good corporate citizens; you want money, we got the honey, and we are prepared to play ball – but on our terms.”
“Mr Wild Coot, you say that Bajans come together when times are hard; you admire that. Are you not afraid that Bajans will wake up and decide that the Trinidad influence is too much and that there is little reciprocity?”
“Indeed not! Bajans are docile people. Imagine the last riot was in 1939 before World War II! Recently we almost overthrew the government, even shot the Prime Minister.”
“You say, Mr Wild Coot, that we in Barbados have a quality product here. What happen to Almond?”
“Almond! We got what we wanted out of it and now it is up for grabs.”
“Do you think that will also happen to BNB?”
“Of course not! But we do have to do some minor adjustments.”
“Does that include using some of the copious savings to make loans to young entrepreneurs – something that the other banks are not doing as they only lend for cars, fridges, holidays, consolidation of debt and certain mortgages?”
“You will see soon enough that we are playing our part. We support fairs, festivals and reggae shows that Bajans love.”
“Mr Wild Coot, you think it is in our interest for the National Insurance Board to sell their shares to Republic Bank?”
“Certainly. I, Wild Coot, advise that you sell the shares to Republic Bank in Trinidad and I promise to put in a word for you with CLICO Investment Bank for you to get some of their 19 per cent holding. By this strategy you will be investing in Republic Bank in Trinidad. I kiss the front and back of my hand to say that I will do that.”
“Well, Mr Wild Coot, you really think that we are idiots after all. You spend all that money to come to Barbados to make that promise. My father always told me that a promise is a comfort to a fool. Good day, Mr Wild Coot. Don’t believe that all Barbadians are like the ones you are dealing with. T’anks for the interview and have a pleasant flight back to Trinidad.”
(Sotto voce.) “You feel you so smart, Bajan! Does it make sense to sell the National Insurance shares, which are an investment bringing 12 per cent return in the Barbados banking industry, converting it into cash, then take the same cash to buy a lesser amount of shares, as they are more expensive, either in Trinidad or Jamaica, to get about the same 12 per cent dividend on lesser shares? With money you hold in trust? Sumtin wrong!”
(Under her breath.) “I know who is pulling the strings. If the Government got to sell, then giving Republic Bank a 100 per cent control is the ‘be-all and end-all’. We’re only dressing it up. Even we own people think we foofoo!”
Now I’m supposed to be “maccocious” and spread the news. Bajan are so disenchanted by this move by the Government that it will be hard to get them to invest in anything Bajan again, including divestment.
• Harry Russell is a banker. Email [email protected].
