Dear Christine,
Last June I met a young lady named S. We started talking as friends since she already had a boyfriend but I started to develop feelings for her. I was in two minds whether to tell her and eventually I did.
Surprisingly, she said she felt the same way but she had just found out she was pregnant and wanted to keep the child.
I stayed with her but for some unknown reason we lost contact in September. No matter how I tried, I could not reach her. We met up again last December when she added me to BlackBerry messenger. It was like a dream come true. I was and still am in love with this woman.
She told me she needed time to cope and think because she had lost the baby and that was why she had lost contact with me. The man was still in the picture. In fact, she called him from my phone to let him know she was ending it but he never answered.
One day she called to say she had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was excited but she said she needed to verify the result with a doctor.
I called while she was there and she told me her mum was with her. She said she was upset because her mum had told the guy and he had shown up. I asked if she wanted me to come but she said she did not want to cause a noise. She said the child could be his and we would have to “wait and see”.
I heard when she went into the doctor but could not reach her again until around 9 p.m. She told me she lost the child when the doctor examined her.
I stayed with her that night and held her as she cried in my arms.
Then, out the blue, she would not take my calls or messages. I became worried.
We talked three Saturdays ago and decided to make things work. She told both our families and friends how much she loved me. When she travelled overseas we kept in contact and her family said they were happy that she seemed happy. She even discussed marriage with relatives.
This is what I don’t understand. She was laid off from work last week. We talked it over and I asked a friend about employing her. He told her to visit him at 10 a.m. on the Friday. I called her immediately to tell her and could not get through. I became worried. I tried reaching her throughout the night but to no avail.
I tried the next day and got no reply. When I tried some time later, a guy answered her mobile phone and hung up. I called back but got the answering machine.
I have not heard from her and it hurts because I had purchased a ring to propose to her. I feel lost without her. I am not eating or sleeping, just drinking water or Powerade.
If she is reading this I want her to know that I love her no matter what and I won’t stop loving her. My life is empty without her. I want to have a family with her and spend the rest of my life with her.
Christine, I don’t know what to do. Please help me.
– D
Dear D,
If you could see my face you would see a frown on it. In fact, I’m saying “umph” because I know this woman is taking you for a ride. However, you’re too much in love to see this.
Her on and off relationship with you and supposed miscarriages are not adding up. She sounds like trouble wrapped in pretty gift-wrapped paper.
Don’t you know where this woman lives? You keep telling me about messaging her and speaking to her on your BB. Do you call this a relationship?
Don’t put your health at jeopardy as I don’t believe she is as serious about you as you are about her. Get up, eat and start to live again.
However, if I am wrong, I hope she’ll see this letter and make things right. I won’t bank on it, though.
– CHRISTINE
