Sunday, April 21, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Am I wasting time on married man?


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Dear Christine,
I am currently married with children and in love with a married man who has been very frank with me. My marriage is not the best, but he says his is not as bad as mine – based on what we have shared. He says he is not the kind of man to stick with one woman and has admitted to being unfaithful soon after his marriage. He also told me he has had several affairs.
Christine, this man behaves very respectably and no one would suspect these things about him. He says he does not believe in flaunting his affairs because he does not want to break up anybody’ s home or his.
He has children whom he dotes on and his responsibility to them is what is keeping him in his marriage. The current state of my marriage is such that it could break up anytime. I am wondering if I am wasting my time waiting on this man; waiting for him to change or something to happen which will make him come to me.
What do you think?
– D.C.
Dear D.C.,
I think you are naïve. What are you waiting for and how long do you intend to wait?
This man has openly told you he is not a one-woman man, yet you are prepared to leave a troubled marriage for a man who cannot commit to you. First, he is married and second, he is already having affairs. You’ ll just be another addition to his list of women.
If you want something out of love apart from sex, you are wasting your time. That’ s all this man is interested in. Are you so blind you cannot see?
There is a saying that if you put a jacket on a dog, it will still be a dog. The fact that this man appears to be respectable does not take away from who he really is.  
Drop him! Try to find out what’ s wrong with your own marriage and set about trying to fix it. Quit sitting around waiting for it to fail.


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