Dear Nesta,
How you, muh girl? Yuh good? When yuh hear wuh I got fuh you dis week, yuh gine realize dat de hard times mekkin’ people t’ink up all sorts o’ ways to get by – some o’ dem strange enuff, faif.
We all know life en de sweetes’ nowadays – not only hey, but mos’ parts o’ de worl’ (Cyprus is one we hear ’bout) – an’ in order to mek couple dollars, people eithuh sprainin’ duh brains’ to come up wid anyt’ing dat would earn dem few coppers or jes’ tryin’ to cut corners wheyevah duh could.
Nuff “entroppuhners” comin’ ’pon de scene – not all wid good intentions – tricksters an’ fas’-talkin’ con artis’s galore, wid all sorts o’ schemes (sech as dem vagabon’s in de “perfume trade”), hopin’ to relieve yuh o’ yuh pennies. So, yuh got to be evuh ’pon de lookout fuh dem an’ de res’ dat believe it much mo’ easy to stick a gun in yuh face an’ tek ’way yuh belongings – cash fuh gol’, fuh example.
Evahbody havin’ a go – hones’, dishones’, or simply tryin’ to hol’ strain – cuttin’ back howevah duh could. Philomena is a good example o’ how to hol’ strain. Dese nights does see she lightin’ candles wid de excuse dat electric light too strong fuh she eyes an’ she prefer somet’ing mo’ “sof’”. Dah’s she story, an’. . . she stickin’ to it.
Talkin’ ’bout cuttin’ back, doh, you could imagine how surprise I was to read dat in France, de Paris City Hall decide lawnmowers usin’ up tummuch gas, so to cut down ’pon expenses, duh bring in a small flock o’ sheep – four, fuh now – to eat de grass ’roun’ de Paris Archives buildin’ in de city.
Ef it turn out successful, yuh know how de tourisses gine be puttin’ pictures ’pon Facebook, posin’ wid flocks o’ sheep an’ ewes, baa-in an’ bleatin’ all ’roun’ de Eiffel Tower an’ de Notre Dame Cat’edral, two famous touris’ spots in Paris. Dis number o’ sites in an’ ’roun’ Paris usin’ sheep could increase from October.
B’looka wuh hard times could do to people, neh? How enterprisin’ could yuh get? Usin’ sheep ’stead o’ lawnmowers? Wuhloss! Ef somebody had come up wid sech an idea couple years ago, duh destination woulda been a padded cell.
Nowadays, machines rapidly tekkin’ de place o’ yoomans, but I en realize animals – sech as sheep – in de runnin’ too. Ef dese city hall officials din t’ink it a good idea, duh wun go ahead wid dis plan – an’ t’ink ’bout increasin’ numbers later on.
Savin’ ’pon gas money is one t’ing, but look how duh could also benefit. Less pollution to deal wid, no wages to pay out, nobody callin’ in sick, no excuses from late arrivals, no luncheon vouchers to gi’e out, no t’iefin’, no arguments ’bout who is to do wuh, wevver it is leffin’ grass by de side o’ de road or ethuhwise, no clock-watchers jes’ waitin’ to rush off when de hour strike – sometimes befo’
– no news carriers always ready an’ willin’ to stir up trouble an’ evahbody dey to do duh job: peacefully mow down grass. De onlies’ snag might be de cleanin’ up afterwards but as duh only eatin’ grass, it shun be a worry.
We a’ready breedin’ Black Belly Sheep but mebbee we could try de French way – breed some “grass sheep” ’specially to start a clean-up campaign on we onsightly open lots.
De owners don’ seem to be noticin’ de ministry an’ dis would be one way to help out Guvment by savin’ dem money. Y’know, I hear dah mo’ scarce dan a fowlcock wid teef.
Tek care o’ yuhself,
Yuh frien’, Babsie.
