Dear Christine,
I HAVE BEEN SEEING a young man for the past six weeks and everything has been fine, except the hold his best friend seems to have on him.
You see, his best friend happens to be a woman and she has made it clear to me that my boyfriend is her “support system” and that she hopes my relationship with him will not ruin what they have shared for the past six years. She actually says she is threatened by me.
He refers to her as his “little” sister, and for her, he is her “buddy”.I have no doubt whatsoever that my boyfriend is faithful to me and that this woman is nothing more than a close friend.
However, I have noticed that she really does not like me and is cold toward me at times. I am also aware that she competes for his attention when we are out anywhere together.
I would not ask him to stop being friends with her or to stop hanging out with her.
However, I believe he should have a good talk with her and let her know where the line must be drawn.
He should tell her he has a girlfriend now, and that things will be a little different between the two of them.
How do I bring this up to him without it coming across as an attack on his friendship?
– L.S.D.
Dear L.S.D.,
Before I answer your question, I note that you said “When we are out anywhere together . . . .”
Why would your boyfriend want to take his best friend (who happens to be woman) out together with you? I would assume that should only happen if it’s double-dating.
However, bearing in mind the rather short time in which you’ve been seeing each other, I think you should relax and see how things develop between you two. It is true that this best friend could be trouble.
In the early stages of a relationship, the couple usually wants to spend as much time as possible with each other to get to know each other better, not one party travelling around with a spare tyre.
If most of your times together are threesomes, you have grounds not only to complain but to move on if you’re uncomfortable.
– CHRISTINE
