Dear Christine,
I was married when I was very young. I loved my husband very much and still do. He has treated me very badly and lied to me repeatedly. Through all his bad treatment, I have remained faithful to him.
I in turn have had to wash powder marks from his shirts. I have found contraceptives in his car. I feel as though I too would get a lover. What my husband is doing is destroying me.
Sometimes I feel I would rather die. I have even thought of suicide but because of the children, I won’t. Each night I spend time going from window to window until he gets back home.
Do husbands who want lovers think that wives are incapable of wanting one too? If they could become tired of everything the wives can become tired too. If wives are expected to be faithful, I can’t see why husbands can’t be too.
I am so depressed I sometimes wonder if a lover would cheer me up and make me as happy as he is.
– L.T.
Dear L.T.
Are you sure your husband is happy? I doubt it very much.
The treatment you’re receiving from him leaves a lot to be desired, but for you to do as he is doing would only complicate things even more than they already are.
However, I see no reason why you should have to put up with the bad treatment if he is so open and bold about it.
I also know that not all situations are easy to leave, especially when children are involved. Unless you are financially independent, it may be hard for you to leave your husband altogether any time soon.
Just try not to become any more overwhelmed about his actions. For instance, I see no reason for you to be up at night waiting until he comes home. Try to get some much needed rest.
Have you been able to talk to him about his unfaithfulness? Is he aware of how much his actions are hurting you?
You obviously seem to have enough evidence that he is cheating, but talk to him about what it is doing to your life.
If nothing changes then you may have to hang on a bit longer until you are in a position to get out of this sham of a marriage.
– CHRISTINE