We both cheated, what should I do?
Dear Christine,
I’m a top executive, married to a beautiful woman for 22 years. We have three teenage children and my wife and I are in our 40s.
Three years ago my wife confessed that she had a seven-year affair with my best friend. He would come to our house after I went to work and they would have sex in our bed.
Although my wife showed me little affection during that period, I blamed it on the strain of raising three children, never suspecting her infidelity.
She let word of the illicit affair slip when I teased her about her old boyfriends. I was devastated and hurt but I did not let on. She apologized, and our marriage continued for the sake of the children.
In the last two years, my wife has been especially loving and affectionate toward me.
Earlier this year, my married sister-in-law stayed with us for four months. She confided to me that she had an unsatisfactory sex life with her husband. One thing led to another and we slept together several times. She has since returned home.
Now I feel guilty and would like to confess this indiscretion to my wife to clear my conscience, but I am not sure how she’ll react. Should I tell my wife about the affair with her sister?
– OH
Dear OH,
I question your motives for confession. Do you remember the pain that your wife’s confession caused you? Remember how you were “devastated and hurt”?
Do you want to put your wife through that?
While confession may be good for the soul, it will undoubtedly hurt others. I suggest you confess to your priest instead if that is at all possible.
– CHRISTINE
