Sunday, April 21, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Attracted to best friend’s wife

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Dear Christine,
Please do not tell me that I should know better.
I know I should, but I also need your help.
I recently got married because my girlfriend was pregnant. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I do not care for her, but I doubt very much that we would have gotten married at this time if she hadn’t become pregnant.
Anyhow, here’s what’s troubling my mind. The very day before my wedding I stayed at the house of my best friend – who was also my best man. Since we had a bachelor party that night I was late in waking. When I finally awoke, my friend had already left for work. His wife, who is also my friend, brought me a cup of tea and then sat on the bed and started talking to me.
To make a long story short, we started kissing and gradually things got more involved although we did not have sex. We agreed it should never happen again, though it is very difficult when we find ourselves alone.
I know we are attracted to each other and even though I feel I was pressured into getting married I just cannot forget my wife. How do you suggest I solve this problem?
– A.P.
Dear A.P.,
First, I want to tell you not to be too hard on yourself. Your friend’s wife is as much to blame (as you are) for what took place between the two of you.
You admit to caring for your wife even though you believe getting married was the result of the pressure of pregnancy. Still, I think you should do all you can to make the best of your marriage. Having any kind of sex-related interaction with your friend’s wife is not an option and you should avoid the temptation to be left alone with her.
You also have to consider loyalty to your friend and the trust he has placed in you. All this calls for resisting your sexual attraction for his wife and vice versa.
I say this because I do not believe true love exists between you two. To give in to temptation will ruin the relationship you now enjoy with your friend and your wife.
– CHRISTINE

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