Thursday, April 18, 2024

No easy way to tell him it’s over


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Dear Christine,
After living with a man for almost two years, I’ve become increasingly aware that we are definitely not meant for each other.
There are just too many areas of disagreement and our goals seem to be directed towards totally different ends.
I am not saying this is his fault, but what makes the situation so impossible is that he would not ask for help even if he knew it could save his life, or the life of someone he loves, because he is too proud.
To ask for help would be to admit that he did not have all the answers.
My problem is that I don’t know how to ease out of this relationship. If he ever listened, he’d picked up many clues, but he does not listen.
I’m now attracted to another man and want to be free to live my own life. I can’t keep procrastinating – he has to know.
– B.E
Dear B.E,
Do not delay telling him if you know the relationship is over. It is not going to get easier as time goes by; it will only get harder.
There is really no easy way to break up a relationship, unless by some miracle the feeling is mutual.
This man is bound to be hurt, but he will be less hurt if you place the problems on the single fact of the differences between your two individual  personalities. This keeps it from becoming a personal attack on him.
It sounds to me that this man, like many others, is not in touch with his feelings. He has cut himself off from himself and unless he can find the humility to be able to accept help, he is not apt to change.


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