Dear Christine,
Since I cannot discuss this matter with anyone else, I am turning to you.
I have known a couple who befriended me six months ago. We met at a friend’s party and hit it off right away. We would visit each other’s home and even hang out together at lunch, dinner and various events.
I am in my late 30s and have been single for two years now. Still, I’ve never missed being someone else’s girlfriend.
I always thought that the husband fancied me, but I dismissed the thought knowing that his wife and I were friends.
Four weeks ago I visited their home to just chill. We sat around talking and drinking, then the subject of pornography came up. I innocently said that “I have not watched a blue movie for a long time” and they both seemed amused by my confession.
The husband then looked at the wife and said that they had some of the same movies in the house and that we could watch them together. I said “no problem” and agreed to see such a film.
During the course of watching the movie I noticed that the husband moved closer to his wife. Before long they were kissing and fondling each other right before me. I felt very embarrassed but continued to watch the movie. The husband soon stopped from kissing his wife and came over to where I sat and started rubbing his hand alongside my thigh. I looked over at his wife and she was smiling as he did that.
I abruptly got up from where I was sitting and told them I was leaving at that point.
However, the wife stopped me and told me it was okay with her and that since the three of us were friends, it was okay for us to have fun together.
Christine, I could not believe my ears, as I’ve never known the husband or wife to be into this sort of kinky stuff.
I grabbed my handbag and left their home in a hurry.
I expected them to call the next day to apologize, but they never called. I did not call either. Two days later as I was shopping in the supermarket I saw them together. They greeted me as though nothing had happened and asked when next I was going to join them for a little fun. They even wanted to know why I rushed out of the house so fast.
Christine, I don’t know how to tell them I no longer want to be a part of their lives. This thing has haunted me ever since it happened.
I want to find the courage to tell them I no longer want their friendship because I am not into any kind of group sex.
Please tell me what’s the best way to get the message over to them.
– An Overseas Reader
Dear An Overseas Reader,
You’ve got to be frank about how you feel and tell this couple face to face that you were very disappointed with their actions and that you are no longer desirous of maintaining any friendship or contact with them.
Simply call and ask to meet with them (somewhere in public) and let them know you were taken back by their proposal. You may have been an easy target – having no male partner of your own. Also perhaps what happened between the three of you was nothing new to them.
Make it plain that their actions have left you very disturbed and that while you enjoyed the times you’ve spent with them in the past, you believe their actions are an indication that it’s time to part ways.
– CHRISTINE
