How yuh goin’, dear heart? All is well wid you an’ yours?
De ethuh day, I had li’l time ’pon muh han’s so I decide to check wuh de TV was offerin’, hopin’ de rain won’ come down while I was searchin’. Why? ’Cause whenevah dah happen, certain channels ’pon MCTV go off de air, one time! I sorry enough fuh whoevah watchin’ anyt’ing ’pon dem at de time, ’cause de screen gine stay blank ’til de rain stop – could be five minutes or five hours – an’ it en one t’ing to do wid MCTV. Rain fallin’, channel gone!
Dis been goin’ on fuh summuch monfs now, dat I beginnin’ to wonder ef CBC got any intentions o’ evah tryin’ to improve de service. It seem duh fuhget we long-sufferin’ customers en beggin’– we payin’!
Anyway, as I was sayin’ . . . . After switchin’ t’rough couple channels, I butt up ’pon one o’ dem Amurican “prosperity” preachers explainin’ de amazin’ powers o’ somet’ing he was offerin’ – “Spiritual Spring Water”!
It would appear dis water – in a li’l plastic pouch – could settle all yuh worries. Yuh only had to write de preacher, an’ he would pray over de water an’ sen’ it to yuh. It was free, but ’e wasn’ slow in acceptin’ any offerin’s. When dah water arrive, yuh worries done! Several women – perhaps frien’s o’ dis preacher, I en know – was dey confirmin’ de “awesome” way duh lives change right after receivin’ it.
Money, big sums, start flowin’ in like magic – $45 000 to pay off a mortgage, $10 000 to help wid bills, debt cancellation from de IRS, $20 000 arrivin’ in de mail outta nowhey . . . an’ so it went on, wid evahbody praisin’ an’ t’ankin’ God fuh ’E goodness.
Now I only went to Brumley, but I could never be dah gullible or desperate to “swallow dat water”. Aldoh I would be de firs’ body to ’gree de Lord does certainly move in mysterious ways we yoomans could never begin to onderstan’ – an’ I need money like anybody else – but I en buyin’ it. Dis time I got to j’in wid Thomas an’ say, “Onless I see . . . I will not believe”. One t’ing I could believe doh is de amounk o’ money dat mussee flowin’ in to dis preacher from all dem po’ desperate people, eager to sen’ off duh li’l “offerin”, money duh might not even be able to afford at de time, but jes’ hopin’ ’gains’ hope dis “water” would bring a miracle to duh lives an’ change it fuh de better.
I know Philomena ’mong dah “po’ desperate group” sence losin’ all dah money few years ago, so I decide to tell she ’bout dis man – jes’ as a joke. But she tek it serious, an’ start axin’ fuh de phone number. I pass it to she, not ’cause I t’ink she would succeed, but sometimes, is better when people experience t’ings fuh duhselves.
I once see a programme ’pon Amurican TV showin’ de lives – behin’ de scenes – o’ some o’ dese “prosperity preachers”. Lord mek peace! Dem really livin’ offa de fat o’ de lan’, doh – big-able houses full o’ nuff fancy furnitures, top o’ de line cars in garages, rich-lookin’ gol’ watches – Rolex? – ’pon duh han’s. I don’ t’ink dese men o’ God waitin’ ’til duh get ’pon de ethuh side to get duh rewards; dem rakin’ in wuhevah duh could get – now!
It got muh wonderin’. Why should prosperity only follow dese men while mos’ o’ duh congregations strugglin’ to mek en’s meet? Evahbody en prayin’ to de same God?
Anyhow, to Philomena an’ all de ethuh “hopefuls”, I say, “Tek heart, trildrun. Trus’ God – not dah “sweet-talkin’” preacher – an’ He gine supply all de “Spiritual Spring Water” yuh need. Hallelujah!”
Tek care o’ yuhself.
Yuh frien’, Babsie.
