Dear Christine,
Please do not think that I do not love my sister; I do! However, I am becoming increasingly annoyed and frustrated with her bragging and self-opinionated attitude.
Up to six years ago we used to be very close, but since her marriage four years ago, much has changed. I can hardly believe she is the same person.
Shortly after their wedding, my sister and her husband purchased an extremely expensive home in a very desirable neighbourhood, and my sister has her own business.
My life has never taken such a path. I work full-time and my husband and I are the proud parents of two beautiful children. We also own our home and live in a good neighbourhood. Our home does not compare to the one my sister and her husband purchased for over $1 million, but I am very contented and happy with my family.
Lately, whenever my sister and I are together – whether it’s alone at our respective homes or somewhere in public – she makes it a point to compare our different lifestyles and becomes very emotional about it. She also rants and raves about everything. Although I wish her well, I know she has paid a very high price for the luxury she now enjoys.
I am not and have never been jealous of her or her lifestyle and status. The fact that she has a helper does not matter to me either. While I have tried unsuccessfully to convince her of this, she tunes me out and continues her monologue about her nanny, housekeeper, trips overseas, expensive car and so on.
I am slowly coming to the point where I would rather spend my time with acquaintances than see my own flesh and blood. What’s the point when it is the same thing over and over again?
I need to know how I can handle this in the future. Should I have a talk with her and show her what frustrates me most about her, or should I just try to see her less? How can I change her from her attitude and outlook on life?
– S.Y.
Dear S.Y.,
Your sister may be insensitive to your feelings, or she may just be trying to drive home a point – that she has made it big! Either way, you cannot change her. What you can do is change the way you react to her rants and raves.
Although she obviously has done well and married well, she appears to be insecure and insensitive to your feelings and maybe those of others. It may help when you start to innocently and softly remind her of where she came from, instead of taking the bait, she dishes out to make you feel inferior. This may help you to be more tolerant of her – perhaps even to the point where instead of becoming frustrated, you feel sorry that she is so insecure.
– CHRISTINE
