Saturday, April 20, 2024

Keeping it short and to the point


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Short jabs today. Market, when yuh feeling blue, like de very air been sucked out of you, what to do? Check de Internet, sometimes yuh find a short movie, actors known and unknown; in mere minutes it is a hit yuh sharing wid friends.
A friend send two gems (not videos). He say anytime a man open a door fuh he wife, it is either a new car or a new wife – attributed to Prince Philip.
Desmond Tutu: when the white missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said “let us pray”; we closed our eyes and when we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land!
Years ago a Pine Gardens resident objected to cows from the agricultural station grazing in fields adjacent to Pine Gardens road. On New Year’s Eve some brethren from an eastern faith used those fields as a slaughterhouse for a cow and left a mighty mess. I hope we not gine wait fuh a full-scale slaughterhouse to emerge, then set up a committee to convene hearings, prepare a report, to advise the minister as to the options available to Government for consideration and/or possible action. Police and Sanitation Service Authority need to act quickly, before de next “slaughting”.
How we does determine recommendations fuh knighthood; do I have to be a politician or a politician’s friend?
I putting forward three names. Tony Cozier, dean of cricket commentators. I could hear it: “Rise Sir Anthony”. Next, another no-brainer, Professor and Dean Emeritus of UWI School of Medicine, Henry Fraser. Sir Henry got a certain ring to it as does Maureen, Lady Fraser. Thirdly, Sir Harold Hoyte – he built a newspaper like none before and helped to change a nation. Three outstanding sons; don’t wait till dem is 80-plus like Dame Olga!
A youngster want to buy a shirt but lack negotiating skills. He can’t agree pun de price so he went home and return with a cutlass. Does this qualify as price slashing?
De Royal Barbados Police Force, wunnah doing yeoman service fuh dis country, solving difficult crime, even cold cases. Fellas, I want wunnah to focus pun one dat outa hand. Everyday without fail, motorcyclists blazing through streets and highways, no licence plates, no insurance, speeding through traffic pun one wheel, blazing through red lights, terrorizing drivers and wunnah can’t find and weed out dese vagabonds? A menace to society; we doing nothing ’bout it. Where is de zero tolerance I hear so much about?
Dem does buy gas, correct? Gas stations got cameras, correct? Wunnah got community officers working in neighbourhoods, correct? Tek it from there and join de dots and while yuh at it, bring back de stop and search at night. Nuff cars without insurance pun de roads. Offer incentives to de officers based pun de number of cars dat get stop and pull over. When they don’t have documents, call in the tow truck and tek away de vehicle pun de spot.
I was a victim of a rear end collision where de vagabond had false plates. De brute tek off before police could arrive. While we at it, when we gine come up wid a better system to spot who don’t have road tax? How about a bright metal disc wid de year pun it so de police can spot it from a distance? Time to get serious; dis is a new year and it can’t be business as usual!
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?


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